Submitted by Greg Alderete.
The Case of the Vanished Swing
In the town of Blippity-Bloop, on the square’s sunny ring,
Stood a marvelous, magical, musical swing.
It creaked and it squeaked, it groaned and it sang,
A tune so delightful, the whole village rang.
For one hundred and twenty bright, blustery years,
It brought joy and laughter, and sometimes some tears.
But Mayor Minaur, with a scowl and a frown,
Declared, “This swing is the oddest in town!”
He huddled with Lawless, the Dictator Grand,
Who ruled with a whistle and wave of his hand.
They whispered and plotted, they schemed and they planned,
To rid the town square of that swing so unplanned.
“It swings without reason! It swings without care!
It swings when no children are even out there!”
“It’s sacred!” cried Minaur. “It’s spooky!” said Lawless.
“It must be removed, for it’s clearly quite lawless!”
So deep in the night, when the moon hid its face,
They tiptoed and crept to the old swing’s place.
With hammers and wrenches and a big burlap sack,
They dismantled the swing and they didn’t look back.
By dawn, the town square was empty and bare,
No swing to be seen, just a hole and some air.
The townsfolk awoke and gathered around,
They scratched at their heads and stared at the ground.
“Where’s our dear swing?” little Timmy did shout.
“It vanished!” said Granny. “It just up and went out!”
But Minaur and Lawless, with innocent grins,
Said, “Swings are for sinners! And also for twins!”
They built in its place a statue so grand,
Of Minaur and Lawless, both shaking a hand.
But the townsfolk just sighed and went on their way,
For swings bring more joy than statues, they say.
And sometimes at night, when the moon’s shining bright,
You can hear a soft creaking, just out of sight.
A whisper, a giggle, a ghostly old tune,
Of a swing that once danced under sun and the moon.
Dr. Seuss had nothing on you. Well done.
Shame on the people who dismantled its frame, no rhyme or reason, let’s just say they are lame (brains ) No respect!
Vote
I see our rugged individualism as that old swing. Respect.
Perhaps it is in reference to the mob tearing down historical monuments and burning property during the BLM movement and the “Summer of Love”?
Maybe it symbolizes the tearing down of tradition for the sake of God knows what?
That “what?” seems to be a moving target these days, with a $ reward attached for those privileged to be of certain race, gender, or sexual orientation – victims of having been born.
At any rate, this isn’t about a piece of playground equipment.
Tearing down monuments isn’t about erasing history — it’s about refusing to honor injustice.
Prioritizing marginalized groups isn’t special treatment — it’s correcting a rigged system.
The chaos isn’t collapse — it’s the painful birth of real equality.
This is so sad! How can the people of Steilacoom let this happen??? Come on Steilacoom get out there and get your swing back !!!
Vote
You are a cunning linguist, but much of what you say is for the sake of argument.
You scream revolution, while preaching peace.
You rail against change while calling for change.
This is the voice of confusion which has gripped the PNW.
This isn’t confusion — it’s clarity breaking through the old noise.
People in the Pacific Northwest aren’t “screaming revolution while preaching peace” because they’re confused; they’re doing it because they finally realize you can want radical change without wanting violent change.
They rail against the wrong kind of change — the fake progress that just shifts power from one elite to another — while calling for the real, uncomfortable transformation that might actually benefit everyone.
It’s not mixed messaging. It’s nuance.
It just sounds messy because real democracy, real growth, is loud, imperfect, and full of contradiction.
The Pacific Northwest isn’t gripped by confusion — it’s gripped by a messy, necessary awakening.
What does that have to do with the swing? Pray tell
You’re talking the kind of random spew that comes generally from people with a chemical dependency.
Do you smoke a lot of pot Greg?
It is no coincidence that the areas of the country where drug use is high, are on a nonsensical trajectory to God knows where.
Is this how you led troops in the military?
Mr. Borgelt, “Where a debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers.” – anonymous