Letter: Plan Be

I’ve been going through long forgotten boxes upon boxes of photos of our family taken over the half-century my wife and I were married. When I sent this of our son to him (he now has children of his own) with the overlay of some advertisement the product for which I now forget, he quipped “That’s what I was thinking too!”

Getting it right the first time was the favorite subject of Earl Nightingale, “American radio speaker and author, dealing mostly with the subjects of human character development, motivation, and meaningful existence.”

Nightingale once observed “that about 95% (of people) can be compared to ships without rudders. Subject to every shift of wind and tide, they’re helplessly adrift.”

Adrift, that is, until their ship of life runs aground upon some sandy shoal, or is broken apart upon a rocky coastline.

Death, like a disaster at sea, can seem to end prospects for arrival to whatever port to which we had set sail.

I suppose there’s nothing in life that so shocks the sensibilities, creates havoc with daily routines, or incessantly demands taking stock of inventory, than the forever departure of your life-long soul mate.

At some point the closet probably should be cleared of their clothes, the boxes long stored in the basement and attic brought up into the light of day and gone through, and in all of that activity, yet there also needs to be a time to wander, to wonder, and to ponder ‘what now? What’s Plan B?’

May I suggest a ‘Plan Be’ for “meaningful existence” – to use Nightingale’s words – for those who find themselves marooned, like myself, through loss, and therefore truly in an enviable position by which introspection is possible, even made necessary?

Plan Be:

Be sweet.

Be gentle, patient and kind.

Be the one who always assumes the best.

Be the one who listens carefully, cares genuinely, and attempts to understand fully.

Be the one who considers the happiness, peace of mind, and feelings of others as more important than your own.

And if you are still married, be more mindful that the one you are married to needs to feel daily that they are precious, adored, cherished, and treasured.

Be conscious that your time, your words, your friendship, your love are those communications upon which they thrive.

Be.