It’s only shortly after one in the morning. Why am I awake already? It makes no sense at all. I still have another three hours till my iPhone’s melodious sound will do its work to rouse me from Morpheus’ arms. How lovely to know. How relaxing, right?! Ah, wishful thinking. I change my position in bed. Now the pillow is in the wrong angle. I fold it a bit higher. Yes, that’s it. Only, a couple of minutes later I realize, I’ll get a cricked neck. Unfold the pillow, change the angle. Change the position. So tired … Should I change the last paragraph of the chapter I finished writing yesterday? Maybe simply delete it entirely to have a stronger last sentence? My arm will fall asleep in this position. Move it from underneath. That’s better. I will have to check today’s Suburban Times article and answer to the responses first thing after breakfast. Then I’ll do my Facebook post on my public page. Then I’ll start to clean the house. Why am I thinking of all of this?! Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Why are we supposed to count sheep when we can’t sleep? Do cowboys count cattle instead? Why count at all? Don’t think. Thinking will keep you awake. Why do we think even when we don’t WANT to think? At least make it something beautiful! Like the last time I swam in the sea. The water was as warm as if in a bathtub. There were fish around us. And pelicans. I had so much fun. It was just a couple of hours, but it felt like a vacation. I need a longer vacation like this. I wish we could swim in such comfort in the sea out here. I want to go back to that place. Now my back feels uncomfortable. Turning on the belly might help. Argh! Now my arm is in an even worse position than earlier on. How can cranes sleep while standing? With one foot lifted? How can fish sleep with their eyes open? Where is our awareness when we are dropping off to sleep? One moment we are fully there, then nothing. How come that I seem to be able to manipulate some dreams to the point of repeating the nicest parts while I can’t manipulate nightmares? Why do I finish sentences aloud that I began in my dreams? Is it because I demand of myself to always finish what I have started? Ridiculous. But I also wake giggling after a funny dream. Do I wake from my giggles? Or are they the result of already reflecting a dream, therefore being awake already? Sleep, girl. And don’t toss so much. You’ll wake your sweetheart. I’ve made all his breakfast and lunch items already. Will just have to brew his coffee. Maybe pack some pieces of chocolate into an extra little Ziplock box – just so he knows that I love him. I even love his snoring. Why doesn’t it work like a lullaby for me now? Usually, I fall asleep immediately as soon as he starts. Oh my, lying on the belly doesn’t work much longer for me either. Turn a little. Maybe hang out a foot. Yeah, better. Maybe the other one, too. I hope I don’t wake him. Why can’t I fall asleep? I know I’ll be a wreck later, and I have so much on my to-do list today. Of course, he will be fine if I don’t check off everything. But I won’t. I mean, HE is getting up and going to work so early – then I can do my part as well. Right? Right! Sleep. Sleep … What’s the time now? Where’s the phone. Don’t wake him because of the phone light. Check under the cover. Four. Great! Not worth going to sleep now, anymore. Though, just now, it’s so cozy in bed. Is it raining outside? The forced air is just coming on – I hear the furnace humming. I could fall asleep right now. Maybe just 40 winks. Why 40? Why not 30 or 50? Why winks when your eyes stay closed? Who comes up with such stuff? Why do such idioms stay around? Do other people wonder about them, too? Just take that short nap, girl. Just … Argh!
About Susanne Bacon
German-American author, journalist, and columnist Susanne Bacon’s books are available in local bookstores or on Amazon). Susanne lives with her husband in Lakewood, Washington. You can contact her at Facebook. If you are interested in an express delivery of Susanne's columns and her other articles, subscribe to her Bacon's Bits email, delivery free to your inbox. Click here to sign up.
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