Across the Fence: Fräulein, Frau, and Herr

“Mein Fräulein” – how many of you know the term and have used it in addressing a German woman in their life? To try out their German, nothing more? Just as saying “Jawohl”, “Prost”, or “Auf Wiedersehen”? Did you know that the term Fräulein (pronounce ‘froy-line, meaning Miss) is on the list of German words that are going extinct? And why? What’s wrong with it?

The movement of feminism was in full swing as I grew up in a quite conservative household. But even as a very small kid, I was aware that something sounded off in adding the diminutive syllable “-lein” to the word “Frau” (pronounce frow, meaning Mrs.), just because one wasn’t married, whereas there never occurred such a diminutive with the word “Herr” (pronounce Harr, meaning Mr.). In fact, in 1972 the term became politically incorrect, per law, unless a female insisted on this title. During my final three years of grammar school (grades 11 through 13), most teachers already addressed us as “Sie” instead of “Du”; and as I entered university and work life straight after graduation, everybody addressed me with the term “Frau“. Women, by that time, had entered work life full force, and it was nobody’s business whether one was married or not. You will find the term Fräulein in American literature, though, as a description of German women dating American G.I.s after WW II; because back in the 40s, 50s, and early 60s the terminology was still very much alive in Germany. That’s how the term became familiar in the English language.

So, in German-speaking countries you address a woman as “Frau” (plus her last name). The term comes from the Old High German word “Frouwe”, which described a lady, somebody who stood above the rest of a household and who was maybe even of nobility. Her male counterpart was “Fro”, the master of the house. The term “Herr” derived from the adjective “hehr” (pronounce hair, meaning higher). Anybody who was addressed as Herr or Frouwe/Frau up to the age of Renaissance was clearly in a socially dominant position. It featured also in Christian religion. “Unsere liebe Frau” (as in “our dear lady”) was none other than Lady Mary; and God was often referred to as “Herr”, as in “Lord”. Now, you get an inkling that Liebfraumilch (in German it is “LiebfrauENmilch, by the way), the sweet white wine that is so often mistaken for THE German wine, means nothing else than “St. Mary’s milk”. I won’t go into this story – that might be a chapter by itself sometime later. At the same time – that’s my guess – the term Herrschaft as in lordship or leadership developed in German, but not Frauschaft as in ladyship; which indicates a patriarchal society. The term “Herrenrasse” (pronounce ‘harr-ran-russ-sah, meaning master race) is mostly connected with the Third Reich, these days. Interestingly enough, though, the ideological concept of a superior race developed in France in the late 17th century, already, and became quite popular among the European colonialist nations in general. We know what catastrophic havoc such a concept can wreak, once it is turned into realpolitik (another Germanism!).

In the early 1600s, the term “Herr” suddenly became a form of address for anybody who was his own master. I haven’t found anything about this change to a custom among the people in general. Yet, it was still often just the first name by which a person was known, as the last name (if one had any) could change by moving or by changing one’s trade. In that case, the person was not addressed as “Herr” – that only went together with a last name.

There are some exceptions to the rule “Herr/Frau plus last name”. That is when a title is involved. If you consider yourself on eyelevel with an aristocrat, you just use their rank without adding Herr or Frau, you just address them as e.g. “Graf” (duke) or “Gräfin” (duchess). If you honor the social position of somebody, you may – or in the military even have to –add their rank or job title after Herr/Frau, leaving out their family name. It’s as if you said Mr. President, Mrs. Doctor, Mr. Major … you get my drift.

My mother also taught me that talking ABOUT somebody in a polite way meant not calling them a “Mann” (pronounce munn, meaning male) or a “Frau”, but “Herr” or … “Dame” (pronounce ‘duh-mah, meaning lady). Have I twisted your thoughts enough? I promise, I’ll make it easier next week.