98° and rising on this, the 26th of June in 2021. Temps in the next few days will hit 105° or maybe a tad higher. Odd that for the PNW, especially this early in summertime.
I left the comfort of A/C in our rental home and sat my aging self down in a lawn chair outside to soak up some of that hot stuff. The sprinkler was on, and now and again a bit of spray visited. Felt good. Weren’t no crows out and about, weren’t no birds of any kind out. Squirrels were absent, too. Seems the sun is welcome, till it ain’t. Is it a sign of global warming? Or something less dramatic like a sun storm? If I was a bettin’ man I’d lay my money on the global thing.
For some reason my thoughts drifted back to the days of my young as a noobradoodle to the grown up thing. Mid-late teens/early twenties come to mind. The sprinkler kept sprinklin’, the crows kept absent, a fly was buzzin’ me tryin’ to bust up my peace.
What is it about aging that occasionally brings tears when a one is by his/her lonesome ? Getting’ soft? Gettin’ tired? FOGO? (Fear of gettin’ old) Rememberin’ used to be’s and regrets? Thinkin’ about things that might have been, and stuff that’s come to pass?
I don’t know either, all I know is that one of them pesky tears crept up on me as I sat in the hot and lawn chait, but I wished that sucker back to where ever tears go when they’re not wanted. Lit a smoke and drew one.
It’d been a good week. Kendra’s confusion seems to have plateaued; hope it lasts comes mind. Heard from my son on my birthday and Father’s Day, too! Happy comes to mind! My weeny stock portfolio recovered from its losses last week. Relief/back on track comes to mind. Put 40+ miles in on the bike in the last week. Bye to some covid fatso’s come to mind. My milky skin got kissed by the sun during them bike rides. No sunburn either, comes to mind. Everything is goin’ my way, so where’d that pesky tear come from? Pfft.
The smoke drifted off silently, off to wherever smoke goes when it leaves. Leaves…
Leaves high up on the poplar trees that border the north side of the yard danced ever so slightly, while the lower leaves just hung all quiet & still like. Neighbors were all absent, seems the hot kept them inside, seems I’m the only contrarian spazz, just now. Ain’t easy bein’ human comes to mind.
“You alright?” came from the mouth of my Babe.
She’d stepped out to the back porch and saw me sittin’ in the shady hot.
“I’m good” I said, partially awakened from my day dream.
“Don’t kid yourself, asshole”, she said, “You ain’t good.” Then added’ “I like you best when you’re bad. If ya need bail money, I can help. I’m rich you know…”
Truth is she ain’t rich, nor I in matters financial. But we got some doe. She got more than I, but I’m workin’ some magic and hope to catch up quick fast like, come to mind.
“Hollar if ya need me” she said as the screen door slammed shut.
The crashing screen door woke the rest of me up. I turned to say something more to her, but she had gone to wherever good folks like her go when they leave. Damn leaves…
The thermometer in my head said it was 99° pushin’ 100°. Tear had flown, butt was out, somehow I’d grown. After snuffin’ the butt in the ashtray I’d brought with me, I left the old now in favor of a new, cooler now.
“Hey old woman” I announced as the screen door slammed behind me, ”I’m back”.
“Thanks for the warnin’” she said from the living room.
Pfft. Damn Woman…