In an effort to finally get representation, Springbrook and Woodbrook have united and erected a new city, SpringWood.
One term that the career politicians fear is ‘One Term’. Another term is ‘secession’.
Lakewouldnt mayor for life, Don Tunderstan said, “I want to tell you how aroused I am, um, what’s the word, excited? Oldbrook really didn’t want to have anything to do with, ew, Bringspook and Wokespeak. I know because I asked the councilmember from Oldbrook. I also asked the other councilmember from Oldbrook. I also asked the other councilmember from Oldbrook. I also asked the other councilmember from Oldbrook. And finally, I asked the other councilmember from Oldbrook. In a city of 60000, five of the seven councilmembers live within a mile of each other! Then I asked the newest councilmember, who has lived here for a few months, she’s almost done unpacking from moving into the city.” He essentially shouted out the window to her; the councilmember living a few hundred feet away from his house in his gated community.. But at least we have a famous celebrity here! Welcome to Lakewood, Patti LaBelle!
The new Mayor for SpringWood, Ander Davidson, promised to immediately get to work writing scathing letters to himself.
Hasbeen R. Johnny doesn’t know if he likes the idea of SpringWood or not, but he is mad about it either way. Like his tattoo says “Slobs! Slobs! Slobs! Slobs!”
The speed limit to the bases will be reduced to 12½ mph. This will be known as the Fircrest fundraiser formula.
SpringWood in turn welcomes the captains of industry coming into the new city; Tesla, Amazon, and so much cannabis revenue! It is predicted that a skunky haze will settle over the new city… for a day… maybe two. But somehow the republic will not fall.
In keeping with this recent division, Oldbrook is requesting that its zip code of 98498 be numbered even farther away from Lakewouldnt’s zip code of 98499.
The views expressed in this article are the writer’s own.
We need to demand that the Lakewood City Council seats be filled through districting. This is the only way we will have representation equal to the diversity of the City.
When I suggested this idea 10 years ago, I was told that the City was too young. Well, we cannot use that as an excuse anymore.