This coming November 2020, I will have contributed Westside Story columns to The Suburban Times for ten years.
Have you ever noticed I have never, not even one time, written an article about our US Naval Observatory?
You can probably guess why that is. I am always looking for the funny.
I have always shied away from the US Naval Observatory topic because I assumed it was too serious. It seems too intellectual for a guy with my particular mental acuity. Besides, the US Naval Observatory simply sounds too sciency (sciency is a new word found only in the Joe Boyle dictionary). My motto is no humor, no story.
Once again, my sister Peg has proven me wrong. Our US Naval Observatory does have humor potential. Do not take my word for it. Check out the photo Peg sent me, which caused me to write about the US Naval Observatory the first time ever.
Now that’s the kind of reporting I like to see: short and to the point. No wandering around about the history of naval lint or the socio-economic implications of innie vs outtie and how it impacted mental health of Hittite belly dancers.* New York Times take note!
*I am told the Hittites haven’t existed for millennia, so hopefully this will not give rise to an excuse for destroying Portland in the name of Hittite belly dancers.
Drsmythe,
I will stay home to be near the phone in case the New York Times calls. Oh, wait a minute. Staying home to wait for a phone call is an old concept from my past. I forgot. My phone is with me all times including in the shower where I keep it inside a waterproof sandwich bag. I never miss a call these days.
Your talk of the Hittites certainly sent me running for my encyclopedia. Oh, wait. That is another old fashioned idea. We donated our encyclopedias to the library book sale, long ago.
Okay, your talk of the Hittites certainly sent me running to my online search engine and Wikipedia.
Have you ever notice that in my ten years of writing, never have I, not once, written an article about the Hittites?
Thank you for commenting.
Joseph Boyle
You are quite welcome. The Hittites weren’t know for their humor. I suspect it is from their not having ready access to paper and having to use clay tablets for their IRS forms. Carrying a hundred pounds of clay forms to the IRS office precludes any humor from a society. An audit was the probably the leading cause of muscular/skeletal injuries of the day. If it weren’t for modern electronics we would be heading for the same demise, even with our ready access to paper. (Hopefully, some New York Times pundit/journalist won’t see this and compose a 4 page “report” comparing our IRS debacle with the difficulties of Hittite belly dancers. Hey, it could happen!)
Consider contributing to the Wikipedia Foundation. Most people use Wikipedia, but few contribute. It is an amazing service, and one day might have an article about Joe Boyle.
Thanks, Peg. Not only should I consider contributing, I have conributed in the past. Wikipedia helps me. I help Wikipedia. I use the money I save from not having to purchase new encyclopedias that would only jam-up my bookcase.
You and I think alike.
Joe
Hey Joe,
Did I tell you I belong to the Belly Club? Next time we have coffee together I’ll show you my button.
sciency
Now there’s a word!
every word in every language was talked by a specific human being (or tarzan – or some gorilla) for the first time – ever!
tell me, old buddy, that you invented “sciency”
Dana,
It is true. Although hampered by a total lack of a kindergarten educataion, my intellect still allows me to make up words on the fly. “Sciency” is an officail Joe Boyle word, and to the best of my knowledge, never uttered by any other man, woman, child, Tarzan, or gorilla.
The way I fugure it, if someone else in the distant past was allowed to invent or create all the other words we use today, there is nothing to prevent me from inventing new words that can be used in the future.
Someday I may publish a hard copy Joe Boyle Dictionary.
Joseph Boyle
Before this conversation slides over the edge, we should remind ourselves that the USN Observatory (Superintendent’s House) is the official residence of the V/POTUS. I’ve not been there, but in youth had occasion to visit THE observatory, when the stars were out and things were, … sciency. These days, I suspect one may have difficulty securing entry, with all manner of concern about the Lint Patrol, sourced from you know where. Be well, and carry on Joe. Up with Farce, I say.
You all crack me up! (Now careful where you go with this.)