You know me. I love hanging out with inventors and other high performing creative intellectuals. Just this morning, I crossed paths with Zabrina Austin.
Zabrina has always proved to be a fountain of creative ideas.
Zabrina, recognizing that public officials recommend protecting society by practicing a new concept called social distancing, got to thinking about how she might help society with the social distancing effort. Social distancing requires we maintain 6′ of distance between ourselves and others.
Zabrina’s invention is based on redesigning and repurposing an old invention, so it becomes a useful device for the demands of our modern times related to social distancing. Zabrina is a genius.
The invention? The hula hoop. Zabrina came up with the idea for enlarging the diameter of the hula hoop to a minimum of 12′ to guarantee social distancing.
All we need now is another government mandate that requires every man, woman, and child to wear and spin a 12-foot hula hoop when in public.
Before you scoff, take a look below.
The woman in the photo, who is not Zabrina by the way, demonstrates how easy it is to practice social distancing with her 17-foot hula hoop. She plans to work her way down to her neighborhood Costco along with the legions of other toilet paper hoarders.
If you do not think you can keep a 12’ to 17’ hula hoop in the air, try this.
A well known acronym, STD, stands for sexually transmitted disease. The new acronym I just created is SDD, which stands for Social Distance Device. I am referring to Zabrina’s new and improved hula hoop.
There are possible side effects for those who use the SDD. (1) The SDD user may notice a significant drop in weight. (2) Three out of 5 SDD users will need to replace worn out hips before receiving their first check from Social Security. (3) The SDD will cause STD cases to plummet which gives society strong justification for supporting this new fangled social distancing idea.
I know what you are thinking. “I love my FREE subscription to The Suburban Times. Each issue is packed with local news and compelling fresh and innovative ideas that can easily be applied to my current mundane lifestyle. All I have to do is adopt just one of Joe’s freely given ideas and bingo, I am living an exciting life on the edge, just like Joe.”
After reading this Westside Story online, we recommend you wash your hands for 20 minutes to help avoid catching a computer virus.
Larry King says
If we all would just carry a Stanley tape measure, that would solve the problem. It can be kept in a purse or pocket. No need for something cumbersome.
Joseph Boyle says
Great idea Larry. For those who can afford the very best, I recommend the Stanley Power Lock model. Joe
Susanne Bacon says
SDD – with what are you coming up next, Joe?! Thanks for the chuckle.
P Rose says
We are in the modern era now, so a digital proximity alert with loud audible warning is called for. It is also a non-contact system unlike the hoola hoop and truck tire
Melvin R Hibbard Jr says
Joe a good rule of thumb to follow and in an effort to keep it simple “if you can smell my farts you are too close”.