Professionals, while book smart, are not always street smart. Some professionals lack common sense, and they can be out of touch with average citizens, like us.
Take dentists, for example. I cannot believe what some dentists are recommending to the public. They want you to keep your toothbrush 6 feet away from your toilet.
Six feet of separation might work in a luxurious dentist’s house. The rest of us, mere mortals, are lucky to have a bathroom the size of a phone booth. Six feet will force us to move our toilets out into the hallway beyond the bathroom door. Worse yet, we may have to move our toilets outdoors into the flower bed under the bathroom window.
Many folks learning of a professional dentist’s recommendation will feel compelled to comply. I, on the other hand, recommend citizens override this kind of fear-based dental guidance and let common sense rule the day.
Take me, for example. I have no phobias related to mixing toilets and toothbrushes. In fact, as a magnanimous gesture, I am willing to take you photographically into the private confines of my master bathroom to clearly demonstrate my commitment to innovative dental care practices. Obviously, I am violating the dentists’ 6 foot rule.
For years I have taken dental fear-mongering to the opposite extreme. My image below provides a clear picture of how I save time, water, and money.
That is right. I hang my toothbrush right on the toilet, so it is handy for brushing and easy to find after every meal, snack, and cocktail.
In the interest of health and safety, I always flush before I brush.
Instead of wasting money by running water down the bath sink drain while brushing my teeth, I dip my toothbrush into the swirling water in the toilet bowl. The swirling action of the water in the toilet bowl serves to power clean my toothbrush similar to using a pressure washer on my toothbrush. Additionally, the constant flow of fresh, cool water adds a positive aspect to my dental care.
Give my dental hygiene method a try, but remember, flush before you brush!
Joseph,
Once again I bow to your greatness. Please, take the time and effort to copyright your phrase, “Flush before you brush!” and you may as well reserve “Keep your mouth closed at the urinal!” I think these two commands could bring in enough money to last through retirement. Best wishes.
Don
p.s. Is this really your third toilet article?
Mr. Doman,
Thank you for following what could be classified as my “Thundermug” series. I was not aware I had written 3 articles on toilets. You might conclude that when it comes to toilets, Joe Boyle is prolific.
Before being willing to feel guilty for having written too many toilet articles, I conducted an investigation and determined, without a doubt, you too have demonstrated a penchant for Sir Crapper’s much-touted home device.
Yes, is it not true that on January 5, 2018, you Don Doman, wrote and published “Creepy Crawlers & Rats In The Toilet”?
On August 17, 2018, following your huge success and rave reviews with “Creepy Crawlers & Rats In The Toilet”, you wrote and published “Toilets Don’t Mean Squat”.
So to be fair, the next toilet article Ben Sclair publishes in his highly coveted, The Suburban Times, should be yours.
Maybe you already have an idea, but just need to finish up. Remember that old saying, “Your task is not finished until you finish the paperwork.”
Joseph Boyle
Excellent! While I can appreciate the dentists’ advice I, like you, would find it difficult to follow. Msybe brushing in the kitchen would fulfill their fantasy about the average person being in a position to place their toothbrush that far from the toilet. At last look I haven’t seen toilets in the kitchen yet.
Thank you for giving me the giggles! I’m passing your story along!
Joe, you have brought me to tears of howling laughter running down my cheeks. Indeed, I had never heard about that rule, and it just shows how estranged some of the other half are from reality. (I exclude my kind Lakewood dentist – he is one of the kind who sing along with their staff to particularly nice radio music even!) Anyhow, I just wonder – toilets have a lid, don’t they? In case of utter frustration about lacking distance, one can still close it, flush, then brush, then clean the lid. Problem solved.
Oh, and I should hope the lanyarded brush is only one of your whimsical inventions to lead suggestions ad absurdum, LOL.
This is a subject close to all Civil Engineers; however, another aspect of the subject is the time expenditure enjoying the solitude of the toothbrush holder. Research has shown that men spend an average of 22 minutes inspecting the toilet (less when without a paper to read), while women spend only 8 minutes, with or without the paper. While you may wish to check my sources, the results certainly flush out to be accurate….
Joe- if you use 2000 flushes in your toilet tank it also keeps your toothbrush clean and sanitary. It’s obviously an added bonus to your toilet to teeth efficiency.
This was one of your funniest pieces yet or maybe I just have a penchant for potty humor. I did pass it on to my 11 year old grandson who will think it hilarious.
We can use this humor mixed in with the other sobering news of each day – thanks!
My condolences to Kjeri by the way.
Marianne
Another way is to store your active toothbrush in a bottle of half water & half
Hydrogen Peroxide. This solution will sterilize the tooth brush between uses.
A dentist advised me of this years ago and I still follow it. It seems to work.