My daughter knows this great fellow, named Eric, who holds the title Son-In-Law, my Son-In-Law, and he is my friend too. Eric is brilliant. Of course, he is smart, as is evidenced by the fact that he married my daughter.
Readers, please do me a favor. Whatever you do, do not ever tell Eric his Father-In-Law, Joe Boyle, stumbles through life with a defective secondary education. It is a challenge for me to hold my own when I am with Eric. He is highly intelligent, and I, in comparison, never attended kindergarten. Eric does not know I went to a school in a rough neighborhood, causing me to attend first grade twice. My school was like a prison, so I go six months off my two years of first grade for good behavior. It was not that I was so good, it was more like I did not get caught. I went on to graduate from high school with a 2.47-grade point average. I am not bragging.
If Eric knew about my educational flaws, he might not want to be my friend. Why? Because he was honored by becoming a member of Phi Beta Kappa, an honor society for the liberal arts and science founded on December 5, 1776. If the word got out I am his father-in-law, he might be expelled from a 243 year old scholastic honor society. He can’t even afford to be seen with me when you get right down to it.
The fact that I can brag it up that I know a Phi Beta Kappa dramatically reduces my anxiety over achieving a 2.47 GPA in high school.
So the other day, Eric sent me a crime avoidance tip from CNN. As you must well imagine, I have to pay attention to Eric’s tips for two reasons. Reason #1: Eric is a Phi Beta Kappa. Reason #2: I am a retired law enforcement officer who has spent quality time with cons and scammers. I know how fraudsters think, and I am well aware they are always working an angle.
Are you ready for Eric’s tip? The beautiful thing about this particular crime-fighting tip from Eric is it will not cost you time or money to comply with his advice.
TIP: When writing the year for our current year, do not take the lazy short cut of abbreviating 2020 to just 20 like 01-04-20. Write the full date with all eight digits, such as 01-04-2020. By following Eric’s tip, you will ward off the scammers who might try to victimize you by adding a couple of numbers before or after your 20. A culprit might, for example, make your 20, 1920, or 2026 to aid them with some evil deed.
I would think that because I, Deputy Joe Boyle – Emeritus, endorses Eric’s crime-fighting tip, you would adopt the advice without question. But if you need more information before being convinced, then click my link to be taken to the original CNN article Eric sent me. LINK: Crime-fighting tip for 2020.
Even if Eric and CNN are not correct, what can it hurt to write an extra 20 on 20 for 2020?
To enhance my credibility as a purveyor of rock-solid crime-fighting hints, I have chosen to provide you with a bonus tip at no extra charge.
TIP: Don’t take any wooden nickels.
In that we are talking numbers, like 2020, Retired Deputy Boyle has your 6. (Joseph Boyle Dictionary = I have your 6 is cop talk for I have your back.)
I wish you a happy new year, but of course your year will not be so hot if you become a con target victim by ignoring the advice of a Phi Beta Kappa or that of a busted down old retired cop.
Susanne Bacon says
“I have your six” is also Air Force/pilot talk. As the sky is divided into a clock, “Twelve o’clock high” (brilliant movie with Gregory Peck) is right above you. Six o’clock is at your back. Which means somebody who has your six is somebody backing you up. Quite important when you have enemy planes flying behind you, shooting. This just as an explanation for people who’d like an explanation for the idiom.
Mike Brandstetter says
While I appreciate your 2020 advice courtesy of Eric, Your wooden nickel warning is not so sound. Wooden nickels are a thing of the past and mainly quite old. It is highly likely that a vintage wooden nickel would have collectable value and be worth a considerable percentage more than a real 2020 minted nickel
Joseph Boyle says
Mr. Mike Brandstetter,
This is a case where you are absolutely on target and I missed the boat.
My mom, who lived until age 93, always counselled me to never take any wooden nickels. She never connected with the internet, but if she had, she would have advised me to take as many wooden nickels as I could get my hands on.
I checked eBay. Wooden nickels can fetch (fetch is popular word with the inhabitants of the Apalachian Mountains.) $2.00 to $310.00 depending on the design.
Thanks for the tip.
Loyal readers my updated tips are (a) Remember to use 2020. and (2) Take as many wooden nickles as you can get your hands on.
Mike, you proved me wrong. I bet, unlike me, you graduated from kindergarten.
But, what if someone made an extra little circle above the zero? For example, you (not me but, you) could write 2028 instead of 2020 which could extend your car registration for an extra 8 years at no charge (assuming that police don’t know how to use the computers in their patrol vehicles to check your registration, or even insurance card)… Or, what if a person made the first zero into an 8 so the year read 2820, or even added to the second zero making 2828? I mean, a person could change their birth certificate and then, totally believably, claim they were from 800 years in the future? Seriously, a birth certificate would be proof, wouldn’t it? Sadly, though, I have heard that we have anywhere from 4-12 years until the end of civilization so, it could be a hard sell, right? Of course, that would only be hard to sell to people who watch the Main Stream Media, since they and Hollywood elites (actors who pretend to be smart people on TV and in movies) have told us that (without any actual scientific evidence) we should believe a 16-year-old Scandinavian dropout, who was recently outed for not even writing her own environmental posts! Of course, the CNN crowd hasn’t seen that news story, have they? To quote the first paragraph of a recent news story: “Greta Thunberg doesn’t write her own Facebook posts. They are largely written for her by grown-up environmental activists including her father Svante Thunberg and an Indian delegate to the U.N. Climate Secretariat called Adarsh Pratap.” https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/01/14/greta-thunbergs-dad-writes-her-facebook-posts/ Does that mean that she isn’t the actual Time person of the year? Or, does she just play one on TV? Actually, maybe she really was born in 2828. I think I could totally believe that!