Westside Story – New Year's Resolutions

Today, January 1, 2020, I endeavor to avoid procrastinating on my duty to our publisher, Ben Sclair.

I am sitting at my keyboard, creating my first column for our new year.

If you are reading my first 2020 column, I wish to congratulate you on beating the Grim Reaper out of one more year. I always enjoy beating the Grim Reaper, especially those times when he snatches me by my coat sleeve.

As I type my first Westside Story, I know not where my column is going or what it will look like in the end.

All I can tell you is, as my fingers strike the keyboard, my mind is active. My creative process works through my 11” MacBook Air, which is a tiny laptop apparently designed for tiny minds. We should all wonder, where are the words for my first column coming from? The best I can figure is my words are produced by my 2020 imagination. Next, we should contemplate what it is I will write in the 12 months of 2020? Of course, if you know that, you will not have to read Westside Story in 2020.

Let me begin my first 2020, column, by wishing you a prosperous, trouble-free, and Happy New Year.

2020, should be a year of perfect vision. When I say “2020 – perfect vision”, I am making a tiny play on words joke for all my optometrist readers. 2020 – perfect vision can have meanings beyond optometry. For example, you and I can have a perfect vision of what we are going to accomplish in 2020.

It may surprise you when I compare Westside Stories to bananas. I pick my stories like I pick my bananas. I write my columns in a bunch, but I only publish them one at a time. Once a banana is peeled and eaten, we can never return to that delightful piece of fruit. My stories are like that. Pick em. Write em. Publish em. Read em, and we can never go back. My stories, like bananas, have a shelf life. (Joe Boyle Dictionary: em = them, which your computer parental control function should prevent anyone in your household who is under age 18 from reading.)

So here it is 2020, and I have to start writing all over again. I can’t repeat the same stories I wrote in 2019.

I know what I can do. I am going to write about New Year’s resolutions. Some people make New Year’s resolutions. Some people do not. Of those who make New Year’s resolutions, some people keep them, and some people do not.

As a complimentary service, I am going to make some New Year’s resolutions for you.

My first New Year’s resolution is “KINDNESS 365”.

The above is a photo of a metal sign that use to be prominently displayed in my water view, top executive office when I was a BTO with Pierce County. Oh, in case you do not have a Joe Boyle Dictionary, the definition for BTO is Big Time Operator.

Okay, okay, I will admit to having made myself sound more important than I am. I never was a BTO with Pierce County. I left that to guys like Sheriff George Janovich, Pierce County Prosecutor Mark Lindquist, and Councilman A.L. Slim Rasmussen.

Actually, I was a minion, one of the thousands who were employed by Pierce County. And I have to admit I did not have a water view office.

The closest I got to the water was the leaky sewer pipe over my pretend cubicle desk in the windowless basement of the County-City Building. My cubicle was about the size and condition of a pig-pen on a Kentucky hog farm.

When the real BTOs upstairs used the men’s washroom, the deafening roar of rushing water over my desk made it impossible to talk on the telephone.

Having stripped out all the embellishments regarding my being a BTO, I am left with one truth. The sign, “Kindness 365”, was, in fact, hung in my cubicle for all to see. Honest!

Ask yourself, how can I be kind to others every day, one day at a time? Include your enemies. How can we say, Yes, when someone makes a request or asks for a favor? I hope everyone in 2020 will adopt this New Year’s resolution.

Here is my second New Year’s resolution for you.

Do not let fear stand in your way. Avoid procrastination. Make intelligent life choices and then do things with the time you are granted to live out your life. When life is just about over, we want to be able to look back and say, “I am happy with my life story.”

For those who found my first two New Year’s resolutions too challenging, here is my third and final 2020, New Year’s resolution. This sign hangs on my Adventure History Wall along with the other two signs shown above.

There you have it. Even if you made no New Year’s resolutions, I made three New Year’s resolutions for you. Think of this free unsolicited advice as yet another free service from a free newspaper. Of course, you are free to ignore my suggestion, but I hope you at least feel free to join me in supporting the concept, KINDNESS 365.

On January 1, 2021, I may check back with you to see if you kept these New Year’s resolutions.