During our recent anomalistic** winter weather storm a new question came to my mind. When is a sundial no longer a sundial? This is the kind of problem a guy can wrestle with when he is unemployed with no visible means of support.
Answer: A sundial is no longer a sundial when…
- the sun sets in the West bringing nightfall which historically has been the norm we have grown used to.
- the sun sets in the East, bringing nightfall, high tides and pestilence which will force most of us to stop thinking about sundials.
- the sundial becomes a snow dial.
Inspect my two photos and one photo-less written description for a clear comparison between the sundial and its two mutated cousins.
So, while I can stare at a snow-dial for hours, I will never have an idea what time it is. A quick glance at the snow-dial will let me know there has been 8” of snowfall.
Snow-dials, being a brand new concept, patent pending, might just be the ticket I have been looking for so I can live the rags to riches American dream story.
If any of my readers would like to cash in on my latest big idea, send me as many $100 bills as you want shares. $100 = 1 share.
In case you are waffling as you wonder if my offer is too good to be true, we have expanded the sundial alternate use concept to provide our investors with a bonus income stream. This new idea is sure to catch on big time in the rainy Pacific Northwest.
Using money gathered from my initial investors, I plan to buy up a trainload of standard sundials which will be drop shipped to our manufacturing partner in China. In China we will have a 10” vertical metal banner welded to the full circumference of the round sundial face. Presto, a yard art decorator Rain-Dial with rain depth measured in inches; not centimeters.
I say hooey to that new fangled centimeter concept. I did not learn centimeters in grade school because my dad told me centimeters is un-American.
My grade school did emphasize the importance of learning a second language. It would have helped had I learned Chinese instead of my dad’s choice for me which was Pig Latin.
**DEFINITION – anomalistic: Fun word meaning odd, peculiar, rare, uncommon, unnatural, unusual. Note: The definition for this highfalutin pseudo-intellectual word is being presented by the caring crew at The Suburban Times to save our readers from having to crack open their dictionary and to keep some from having to find their dictionary.
Send in your $100 bills. This could be bigger than Amazon stock or the California Gold Rush.