The photo below depicts two young people proving a child can grow all the way into their 20s and not yet learn any courtesy or social intelligence when it comes to cell phone etiquette.
Any parent claiming either of these two young ladies as their daughters should ask themselves, “Where did I go wrong”? Yes, their daughters grew up looking like decent people. And while I believe they are decent, the two young ladies appear to suffer from a significant defect. Neither young woman knows how to behave in public.
My friend, Larry King, and I were dining at the Lakewood Towne Center Panera Restaurant. We abruptly stopped our luncheon conversation because of the sudden onset of extremely loud voices blasting throughout the restaurant. It was like someone yelling into a bullhorn.
We looked around to determine where the noise was coming from. Ahh. Two young ladies were sitting in a booth had their cell phone propped up while they conducted a face-time conversation with an unknown caller using the hands-free speaker feature. If these young women ever play their car stereo as loudly as they were broadcasting their phone conversation, a cop would be tempted to give them a noise violation ticket.
They were oblivious to the fact that everyone in the restaurant was being disturbed by their naive and self-centered behavior.
My elderly friend, Larry, shuffled over to their location to pose a simple question. “Boy, that sure is loud, isn’t it?”
On the positive side, I am pleased to report the young woman who owned the phone stopped acting like a jerk. She said, “Sorry; we’ll turn it down.” The second woman did not appear to understand why they should have to quiet down, but she did not act out in any negative way. They turned the phone blaster down like all three were in the booth talking at a normal conversational level.
The two restaurant guests sitting in the booth next to the phone blaster admitted that they found the two social ignoramuses’ phone call disturbing too.
Parents, please teach your children several essential life lessons. 1. The world does not revolve around the child. 2. There are other people with whom we share the planet. Therefore the child should be ever mindful of being thoughtful and courteous when around others. 3. If your child can’t behave themselves in a restaurant, he or she should stay home until they are civilized enough to be released out in public.
While the two subjects may recognize themselves in the photo, I purposefully did not select any of my photos which show their faces in order to avoid any wide spread public embarrassment. If I observe the same two behaving badly a second time, I will use sound and video with their faces fully exposed.
This story reminds me of the time I was in Starbucks near SR512 and South Tacoma Way. My wife and I were sitting, talking, and drinking our espresso in the back of the coffee shop near the back door. A gentleman; no he was not a gentleman. An ignorant man walks back to our location from the front of the coffee shop talking extremely loudly on his cell phone.
Without batting an eye, missing a beat in my conversation, or looking up, I increased my speaking volume as I spoke to my wife to match and then exceed the cell phone guys volume. In college, I learned to elevate my voice loudly enough to crack window glass. So I was confident I had what it would take to make my point. The rude cell phone guy was bothered by the fact that my loud conversation was making it impossible for him to hear his phone call. It was not long before he used the back door to take his obnoxious phone call outside where it belonged.
There is a better way to behave. When I enter a restaurant, I turn my phone down to what I call “church.” That means my ringer is off. The phone is silent. The vibrate option lets me know there is phone activity in the form of an incoming call, a text, or a message. If I must take the call, I answer and softly whisper to the caller, “Just a moment please.” I then stand up and walk outside to continue my conversation so as to not disturb others.
If I am correct and these social intelligence violators are wrong, then perhaps they might learn something from their experience and by recognizing their behavior profile in my article.
If they are correct and I am wrong because of modern changing mores, then perhaps this is a sign that at my age, I no longer fit into society. If that is the case, “Stop the planet. I want to get off”.
Joe, Good story, but I would like to give you another point of view on this topic. I used to bring my dog, Cassie, the the Fort Steilacoom Dog Park every day. On a sunny day I could be there with a couple hundred other dog owners and for the most part you would only hear a low din, like background noise, a pleasant sound. But every now and then there would hear one person that was talking very loud and really interrupting the enjoyment of the serenity of the park. After a couple of times of this happening I would walk toward this loud inconsiderate person and every time it was someone on a cell phone, just like your examples. I don’t think they are rude people, they just don’t understand how to use a cell phone. I think, they think that if they are talking to someone 5 miles away they naturally need to raise their voices for them to be heard and if they are talking to someone in another city they naturally need to yell into the phone and disturber everyone in earshot. We need to teach people how a cell phones work, they don’t need to scream into the phone to have someone a mile away hear them:)
Ron Irwin
Ron, You are right again with your different perspective. I have to admit that I am a loud person, especially on the phone. At my age my life experience reaches clear back to the 1940s when it was mandatory for us to yell into the phone when calling long distance. Maybe we saw that behavior in movies too. In any event, I think yelling when on the phone is a part of my DNA.
The difference between me and these two ignorantly behaving women is not only do they not know how to operate their phone, they do not know to move their conversation to an alternate location so as to not disturb others.
I am loud, which is probably not necessary and probably shows I do not know how to operate my phone, but at least my phone stupidity does not harm others because I know to take my phone and stupidity outside.
These two women had their phone volume turned up so not only were they loud, their caller was extremely loud too.
Joe Boyle
When sitting closely to someone doing this, lean in near their phone and in a put on phony voice say,
“Listen honey, if you don’t hang up I’m putting my clothes on and going home.”. Works every time. You’ll getting Immediate hang up.
Those girls were so oblivious they didn’t realize how handsome I was. They didn’t say anything nice about my shirt either. Plain bad manners.