Submitted by Joe Boyle.
READER COURTESY NOTE: If you have at least an 8th-grade education, it should take you 1 minute and 28 seconds to read today’s, Westside Story.
Readers from all over the United States have asked a prominent burning question. What happened to Joe Boyle? We have not read any Westside Story articles since May 22, 2018.
If you think about it, there are several possible answers to this probing question.
If you will allow me to slip into the third person writing style I will share some of the possibilities.
- Joe may have moved to an exotic location and has now replaced his Westside Story, with a new article titled Tahiti Story.
- Joe may be serving 10 to 15 years of hard prison time for having embezzled $27.32 from The Suburban Times employee coffee fund.
- Joe may have pretended he was Evil Knievel.
- Joe may have been caught in the clutches of the Grim Reaper a third time since having retired April Fools’ Day 2013.
If you guessed answers 3 and 4, you are close to the truth.
How many people do you know who have ridden a BMW motorcycle to the Arctic Ocean? If you know Joe, you know at least one guy who rode a BMW motorcycle to the Arctic Ocean. That in itself might well make you happy to be able to say you know Joe Boyle.
The good news is Joe successfully made it to the Arctic Ocean and now has coffee shop bragging rights because he accomplished what might seem impossible.
The problem is on his return trip, Joe hit some one-inch ball bearing gravel and flew over his handlebars like he was Evil Knievel.
Joe’s death-defying crash resulted in a four-day coma, broken bones to his left eye socket, left cheekbone, broken pointer finger, and broken right wrist along with a traumatic brain injury.
Joe soon discovered trying to type Westside Story articles with only a left-hand quickly creates a story backlog.
Now that you know Joe was on an Alaska motorcycle vacation ride and suffered a high-speed crash which put him into the hospital for 11 days you can conclude why there have not been any Westside Story articles published recently.
To return to writing Westside Story on a regular basis, Joe has started to experiment with laptop verbal dictation.
If you are interested in learning more details about Joe’s Alaska adventure, look for his forthcoming article titled Westside Story – Almost Dead in Deadhorse Alaska.
Almost Dead In Deadhorse, Alaska may remind you of that old TV show, The Twilight Zone hosted by Rod Sterling.
Joe,
Once again you have wrapped up amazing facts inside and interesting story . . . There’s a Suburban Times coffee fund?
Don
The boat was pulling into the boathouse.
I had been alerted a couple weeks before by the captain that Joe would be aboard, and that he and the others would be paying me a visit.
So, I got a plank intending to make Joe walk it.
Joe wasn’t there.
‘You hadn’t heard?’
‘Heard what?’
‘About Joe.’
And here I am, standing on the dock, with this silly board in my hand, thinking the worst.
Did my last letter speak kindly of Joe?
What was my last letter?
I was duly remorseful when I heard the fellow on the dock tell what happened and of your serious misadventures.
‘I’m going to make myself be more kind to Joe in the future in these diatribes of mine in thesubtimes.’
I was ashamed and mumbling to myself.
But the fellow heard me, and said, ‘No, by no means, go easy on Joe. It may in fact be the very thing that makes what he writes so fun to read.’
Welcome back.
David, Thank you for going to all the trouble to have me walk the plank. Unfortunately my motorcycle crash caused me to lose my balance and thus my sea legs. Riding in the boat looked like more trouble to me. Had I been on the boat when you arrived with the plank I think my black eyepatch would have added a certain nautical Pirate feeling.That would’ve been cool because pirates were all about walking the plank.
Joseph Boyle
PS Watch out, I am getting ready to get even.
Joe!!!!!! Good heavens! Heal well and lay off those adventures!
Joe, I am sorry to hear about your accident. I will pray for a speedy recovery.
Thanks Ray. A lot of people have been praying for me. Like I told the minister, Ralf Kalms, at Christ Lutheran Church. “Thanks for praying. Its working.”
Joseph Boyle
I’ve been wondering what happened to you Joe. Glad to see you’re (sort of) in one piece after that nasty accident. You have been missed.
Although Joe has been known to stretch the truth for the sake of a good yarn, I can attest to the truth of at least some elements of this one as I saw him looking a little gimpy at Kaiser Permanente orthopedics clinic last week.
Welcome back Officer Boyle!
Andie Gernon
It happens…..eventually…..if you ride. There are only two kinds of motorcycle riders: those who have crashed and those about to crash. 13 may 2006: T-boned at Bridgeport Way and 19th Street by shop van hanging a left turn that ran a red light. 32 days in Madigan, 5 surgeries later and months of rehab. Still ride; not Harleys…….”real” Indians (pre-1953)….but I understand the attraction. Get well Joe and don’t let this discourage you.
So……… how’s the bike?
P. Rose, I answered your bike question, but my answer did not appear where it should under your question. This response will probably fail too.
The bike rolled end to end like me, but did not roll over me. The 2017 F700 BMW GS LOW cost $12,400 new. It was totaled. My insurance co. paid for the bike. It will be sold at auction for parts.
Remember damage to the bike was not my fault since I had already left the bike by flying over the handlebars. Heh, heh, heh.
Good thing you were not in Washington State as the law requires that the vehicle operator “maintain control of the vehicle at all times”. Enough said…….
So very, very glad you are on the mend. I hope you don’t mind my asking, but as a 40+ yr ER nurse I just must…given your injuries. Were you wearing a helmet? (Or just a skullie or half helmet?) Heal fast and I really hope your TBI doesn’t affect your balance or your orbit and facial injuries your vision. Cant wait for your next article.
Wow! Joe, so sorry to hear of your crash. I quit riding just before my big crash, I assume. take care and heal.
I ride, too, and was hit once by a Camaro running a stop sign. Get well soon!
Linell Jones,
You ask some important questions. I took care to wear the best gear I could get my hands on described as follows: 1. Merlino Wool base layer to prevent hypothermia. 2. Draggin long john style top & bottom made of kevlar like what is used in police vest. Kevlar helps avoid road rash. 3. Aero-Stitch armored riding suit pants & jacket which included armor for spine, shoulders, elbows, hips & knees. 4. Leather gauntlet style gloves with wool inserts. 5. New Shoei full face modular helmet fully engaged.
Helmets are not mandated by law in Alaska, I try not to depend on government to tell me what to do. I try to think for myself. Because I treasure my brain, I never ride without a helmet.
Had I not worn a helmet or if I had worn a tiny cheap poor excuse for a helmet, you would be reading my obituary, not my Westside Story article. I should tell you my speed was 70mph.
While my misfortune sounds like all bad luck, I have asked myself how I managed to live through a 70 mph crash. Some good luck & excellent safety equipment allowed me to live so I can enjoy my 4th quarter of life.
Thanks for your question.
Joseph Boyle
Sorry, I missed the “high speed” in your story but knew you must have been wearing some excellent body protection as you didn’t mention any road rash. Plus knowing your background I thought you would have been wearing a helmet but I thought it was a much lower speed crash. I don’t suppose you took a picture of your helmet? I’ve used those pictures of destroyed helmets but alive riders in many an injury prevention lecture. May I suggest an article in the future be on why you chose to wear proper protection (complete with pictures). Like me, I’m quite sure you have seen, and experienced, the consequences of both choices.
I too don’t want the government telling me what to do but I would say if you choose not to wear a helmet than please have your organ donor card in an accessible pocket.
So happy to see you writing again, Joe! Great to actually see you the other day! Continuing prayers to both you and your lovely bride.
Wonderful to see your name on the byline again after so long. I just have to add my 2 cents worth if comment also. Looking at your manly pose in the photo I couldn’t help bot think you looked like a fiesty Irish fisherman after a bar room brawl. Mind you ice ever seen one but think that’s what one would look like. Proud and strong.
Hi, Joe. Glad you are back! Hope you are healing well, especially the damage to your eye. Looking forward to seeing you at Starbucks.
Thanks Sean. It is good to be back among the living.
So glad to finally see Westside Story again. Welcome back, Joseph!
Joe, I am so sorry to hear of your accident, but very grateful that you lived to tell the tale… and WHAT A TALE! Riding to the Artic Circle on a motorcycle is a feat in of itself, but surviving a crash like you had while doing so is profound.
Wishing you a speedy healing and tolerable, well-managed pain (from the photo it looks quite painful!)… Hoping to see you at CWA once you’re feelin’ up to it!
Warmly,
DeNece Beckman
We’re glad you lived to tell the tale, Joe. Take care of yourself. Heal quickly and heal well.
My reply is a bit late as we were on Orcas Island but after hearing of your story first hand during
our recent phone conversation I was very happy to see your article during my perusal of the Sub Times issues I had missed.
And I see that your manly pirate like photo was made in Steilacoom at Coffee Cabin – an appropriate place for a pirate want to be other than the plank Dave Anderson had offered. I’m sure you are enjoying your celebrity coffee shop tour letting people autograph you and maybe planning your book tour where you can autograph for the people?
Glad to see you are headed back to health. And my sympathies go out to your lovely wife who wisely stayed at home for the trip. Until she had to rush to the hospital that is. How many votes does she get for the motorcycle replacement?
May your recuperation proceed well.
Oh my goodness. Prayers for a successful and speedy recovery