2017, The Year In Pewww

The year started off with an inauguration crowd that was ‘yuuuuge’, the biggest ever, really. Everybody says so…

I’m joking. I was being sarcastic. I’ll keep you in suspense.
Then this administration went on to fly a ‘The Interior Secretary Is Real In’ flag. Yeah, Zinke- you and the horse you rode in on. The EPA Secretary gets a soundproof booth, but wouldn’t say why. Or couldn’t be heard.

NPR did its annual reading of the Constitution. Conservative ‘patriots’ unfamiliar with this manifesto accused NPR of pushing an agenda, give or take 240 years. Hmm; does that make them patriots, or Loyalists?

And many are still trying to figure out where all of these Fake News© & ‘alternative facts’ are coming from. If you’re scoring at home, the bonus word for this round is ‘covfefe’. Let us stop to remember the brave souls of Bowling Green. Perhaps they were victims of the guns of the ‘Violent Left’.

In the war of words, coming soon from a missile silo near you, Kim Jong Un called the US president a ‘dotard’, meaning ‘old and confused’, who then got in his golf cart and pushed the Prime Minister of Montenegro out of the way. His advisors all applauded. They had to, since they are related to him.

In any given year, it’s a coin flip whether the US gets a Category 5 superstorm. This year we got 3. So the law of averages say there will be none for next year. Right? Puerto Rico is still recovering from one of the storms. At least the US president called ‘the president of Puerto Rico’, so there’s that.

So as we close 2017 as a real train wreck of a year, remember to start writing “The End Times” on your checks.