Frosty, our fondly dubbed Fairytale Facsimile, and the hottest thing since hell froze over: after school Satan Clubs for elementary students, have more than a broomstick or a pitchfork in common.
This coming December 14th is the announced arrival of Satanists at Tacoma’s Point Defiance Elementary School, pre-empting Santa’s appearance to chimneys around the world by 11 days.
Understandably, the red-suited, rotund, ever-jolly, ho-ho-ho, sleigh-borne fat guy pulled by a red-nosed reindeer named Rudolf is not a little red-faced having been upstaged by the red-suited, mean-spirited, ever-leering, ever-sneering forked-tongue and forked-tail visage of one disguised as the devil himself.
What, in the spirit of this hap-hap-happiest time of the year, are representatives of a fire-belching Satan doing on the scene?
People are rather heated up about this and the blow-torch response in some cases does not bode well for the coming showdown.
Rather like the sun (if and when we see it) does to snow (if and when we get it).
Is a snowman a snowman if there is no corncob pipe, just a stick? With no carrots in the vegetable bin, can a fir cone serve for the nose? Unable to roll snowballs around in the yard; insufficient white stuff to build a snowman bigger and better than the neighbor’s; no boots, no buttons, no broom, would a scraped and mounded pile of snow somehow spring up and dance around?
Similarly, can Satanists support what they say?
To hear Lilith Starr, who heads the Temple’s Seattle chapter, tell it in a news release: “The clubs ‘aren’t about proselytizing to children, but rather on giving them the critical-thinking skills they need to make their own decisions about the world.”
If for no other reason than allowing our little ones to believe in Santa, or that in fact there must have been some magic in that old silk hat that day, Satanists should go back to the pit they came from.
Imagine, after all, what giving children “critical-thinking skills” will do to all the magical, mystical moments that this time of year affords us as parents, regaling our babes at bedtime with tales of elves and flying reindeer, their widening wondering eyes slowly drooping off – with the help of a bit of sprinkling dust – to visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads.
Like Ralphie (“A Christmas Story”) and his glorious scheme to get a Red Ryder air Rifle without subsequently shooting his eye out, The Satanic Temple has made bullseyes of schools where children attend Good News Clubs.
To teach them “critical-thinking skills.”
Let it snow.
The truth, like the heat of the sun (we’ll take sunshine if we can’t have snow), should reveal Satanists – like it does Frosty snowmen – for what they are.