The Urinal

Jerry went into the men’s room, he was having a great time with friends and a favorite restaurant. The food was excellent and the service was suburb. He approached the urinal and unzipped his pants. He had been enjoying a nice dinner and only drinking his favorite root beer, Bundaberg from Queensland, Australia. He hummed a little song as he relieved himself. In mid-stride he sneezed and his hearing changed. Although he was almost brand new to using his hearing aids he knew something had just gone wrong. The water still running down the urinal was apparent to his right ear, but not to his other ear. His left hand reached up to his left ear and discovered his hearing aid was gone. He looked down at the urinal and saw numerous holes in the bottom that provided a quick flow of water into the sewer pipes. His mouth dropped. He almost fainted. He had only purchased the aids the day before.

Back at the dining table his friends where enjoining a great time. As Jerry approached the table, William his cousin saw the look on Jerry’s face and knew in a second there was a was a problem. William jumped up and pulled a chair over for Jerry to sit at. Everyone at the table could see something was wrong. Jerry explained what he had just done. Immediately the buzz and whispers began. Soon half the restaurant was abuzz. The waiters were looking all over to see what was going on.

Their waiter, Jacky, came over and William explained the problem. Soon the whole restaurant was whispering and pointing. Some were even laughing. Jacky immediately scooted around the table and approached the manager. The manager and Jacky went to the men’s room and did their own search. The manager, realized he needed more information. He sent Jacky back to the Jerry’s table and asked carefully if there had been two hearing aids. Jerry reached up and pulled his second hearing aid our of his ear and handed it over to Jacky who said, don’t worry, I’ll bring it right back . . . he took three steps and turned around and asked, “How much did the hearing aids cost?” Jerry almost sprinted back to the men’s room. He walked in the door and the manager turned to look at him. It was like he already knew the answer. “Six thousand dollars.” was the answer. The manager took the remaining hearing aid and bent carefully down to the floor not caring about a wet stain on his pants and held the hearing aid next to several holes in the urinal. He noted that he could easily have pushed the hearing aid through the holes and into the sewage.

Jerry and the manager carefully washed their hands and then returned to the growing crowd. The manager excused himself and went straight to his office and called the owner. Ten minutes later the manager returned to the crowd and said, “We accept all responsibility. We will make sure this doesn’t happen again. We’re going to add a metal screen to cover the urinal so this doesn’t happen again. Jerry if you can join us for lunch on Friday we will give you and a friend a free lunch of whatever you want and a check for $3000. For now, everyone just sit back and relax. We’re serving free ice dessert for everyone.” The entire restaurant whoopeed it up.

On Friday, Jerry and his new girlfriend arrived. They were welcomed with big smiles, handshakes and photographers. When the manager handed Jerry a check, Jerry refused the check. He said, “I am sorry, but I cannot accept your check. When I was dressing up today, I put on the pants I was wearing the night we were here and found my hearing aid in the cuff of my pants. I am so sorry. The manager just beamed and said, no problem. Please, deposit the check. The Sunday paper is going to have photos from that original night, the new urinal cover, and a big smile from you if possible. We expect all kinds of hype and we have already heard from other restaurants wanting our urinal covers.

When Jerry told William about the check and the Sunday coverage, he just said, “You should have asked for a cut.” Jerry smiled, and shook his head and said, “I did. I thought perhaps we could share.”