This month of March my wife of 50 years married will have been gone one year.
Life goes on, until it doesn’t.
Love will last forever, but then it ends.
And it is through experiencing first hand the finality of it all that I am hoping to share with others what anymore matters.
Like the so sweet love bug encounter in the grocery lot yesterday with total strangers.
A young couple pulled in next to where I was parked.
“Nice car!” the male half exclaimed.
Which statement is always my cue to tell the love story behind the car, a Volkswagen bug the same vintage as my marriage.
Smiling, and laying a loving hand on the passenger door, I replied, “It was a gift from our four children on the occasion of our 50th Wedding Anniversary. A half-century ago my wife and I drove away on our honeymoon in a green bug just like this.
“She’s gone now, I lost her to cancer a year ago this month. But something I’ve observed about love and loss. If you love that young lady in the passenger seat next to you, be sure always to hold her hand because that is something I can no longer do.”
To which the young man smiled and said, “No problem there! She’s my fiancée!”
I congratulated them on just starting out on the adventure my wife and I had just finished.
And the thought occurred to me as they drove away, that what that couple will need as they travel on together, is what I wished I had opportunity yet to do, as popularized in the movie “Fifty First Dates.”
Henry falls in love with Lucy. But Lucy has amnesia and does not remember day to day who this lover Henry is.
Which requires Henry to work at winning her love all over again, and over again, every day after every day.
What if husbands worked at winning their wife’s love like that?
Over and over, and over and over, and over and over again?
Every day?
David,
You bug me. I mean like VW bug. Yours is a nice car & my comment is a compliment to you coming from a car guy.
Your suggestion to work at earning your wife’s love each day is an excellent concept.
I met my wife when she was 17. She is about to turn 80. While mine has not been a perfect performance, I have applied your earn her love concept most every day.
For example, I still open building & car doors for her.
I have observed the opposite where couples treat each other disrespectfully. When I witness negative behavior, it is easy to predict misery, anger, separation & divorce.
During my time working in the court house, I could easily spot prospective newlywed couples passing through security in route to see the judge for a civil marriage ceremony.
I often gave each couple my following 2 unsolicited pearls of wisdom in my effort to help them enjoy a long happy marriage.
#1 As much as you love each other today, you will each do something in the future to anger the other. I guarantee it.
# 2. No matter what, always treat your spouse with respect. The anger can pass.
Thanks, David for making me think and for reminding me to be nice to my wife today.
Joseph Boyle
Thank you Joe, always good to hear from you. Thank you for your example of commitment to life and to love. Thank you for taking to heart, as I hope many husbands do, the every day privilege of winning their wife’s love all over again.
What an imPACTful marriage that would be, where every day the wife felt precious, adored, cherished, and treasured.