Letter: Revolutionary Green Peppers

The green peppers of the world have united!

With good reason, they – with help from a renegade band of baby carrots – had organized, created a logo, and would eventually raise hell in the world of food.

Vive la revolution!

This revolt of the peppers came about because of its test scores on the Scoville scale.

Consistently rated as almost nonconsequential, these green veggies named their cabal the Green Pepper Revolutionary Group, or GPRG.

One of the peppers’ complaints is that they had been found lacking a “hot” taste – ironically finding themselves listed “too cool” for culinary school.

‘Oh là là’ (Oh my!)

The green peppers argued this was not their fault. It just wasn’t in them to produce the hot, flavorful ingredient capsaicin.

Characterized by their lack of the oh-so-important hotness and rated as too cool and mild in taste, the green peppers had become the concern of the haughty chefs of haute cuisine.

With their tone of “don’t try this at home; we’re the professionals here,” one of the major concerns of the chefs de cuisine was over whether or not green peppers were more accurately described as fruits and, therefore, be banned from the vegetable bin.

A green pepper as a fruit!

“Arrête tout de suite!” (Stop it right now!)

The seeds to the rise of the GRPC had been sown.

This green vegetable and their baby carrot allies came together like kernels on an ear of corn and issued the following statement of solidarity:

Whereas we green peppers are basic food, and;
Whereas green peppers are absolutely delightful and delicious, and;
Whereas with time and care green peppers add a most lovely, very agreeable, and ultimately satisfying accent to many of the meals prepared for the family dinner table, then bon appétit! (enjoy your meal!)

The views expressed in this article are the writer’s own.