Westside Story – Native Son Becomes Film Star

Today is a proud day in the life of my Westside Story readers. My friends predicted it would be a snowy day in August before I could ever hope to land a part in a movie. The next thing they knew, I was spotted in a film trailer. My full-length film, Lemonheads, has been selected to be shown in The Albuquerque Film & Music Experience.

If you think you would love a film with copious amounts of profanity, gratuitous violence, and and a detailed look at the everyday life of a doper, be sure to not miss this movie.

TV star and movie star, Joe Boyle, in his debut action film.

At this precise suspense-filled moment, movie viewers will be reminded of that famous Clint Eastwood quote, “You have to ask yourself, do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

Does Joe give up the cash without a fight?

My fans, and I am talking about all 3 of my fans, predict my acting skills will catapult me into becoming the next Clint Eastwood. Just look at my right hand, right ear, and half of my haircut all caught on film in an action-packed violence laden cinematic achievement. This is some acting. I make it look so easy and yet so real.

There is a unique real-life callback in this scene. For over 20 years, I carried two Sig Sauer P220 45 caliber semi-auto handguns while in uniform with our local sheriff’s department. I pointed my Sig Sauer at many a criminal. My guns, combined with my speaking skill, which often described my having all the slack out of the trigger, motivated the criminal element in each and every case to comply with my behavioral suggestions. Thus, no shots fired.

In my scene, the tables were turned. An actor points a real unloaded Sig Sauer 45 at me during a dope crazed armed robbery inside a pet store. The prop could have been any of 1000s of handguns, but it was the exact gun I carried in law enforcement. Any of my criminals who catch the movie will be thinking, “Now you know how we felt, Deputy Boyle.”

I played a retail clerk, apron and all. Actually, in a previous life, I was a member of the Retail Clerks Union, and I have an honorable withdrawal card to prove it. My life experience in retail helped me dig deep into the role.

In the movie, a pet store was played by a real pet store up in the North Pearl District of the City of Tacoma.

When we originally filmed the scene, I had a lot more action and a speaking part. The editors decided it would be better to tease the audience with my acting skills rather than overdo it thereby leaving the audience begging for more. Thus, most of my scene, speaking part, and 1/2 my head ended up on the cutting room floor.

My speaking part, which did not include profanity, was something like, “Okay, okay, I will give you the money. Just don’t shoot me!”

If you watch the movie, do not expect to see any more of my acting than is depicted above. My film stardom lasts only a nanosecond. A nanosecond is one-billionth of a second.

If you watch the film, blink, and miss my scene, my saving grace happens when my name, Joseph Boyle – Pet Shop Owner, rolls through the credits.

If you recognize me from the big screen hanging out sipping a Cappuccino, like a film star, at Steilacoom’s TCC (Topside Coffee Cabin), do not be bashful about asking for my autograph.