About a couple of months ago, I found it hard to find any tissue handkerchiefs in supermarkets. Not that I needed any – I always have some in stock at home. But it made me wonder how people had done without them before – because now they must have bought them like crazy. That’s when I pondered the meaning of handkerchiefs in my life.
One of the principles my mother raised me on was “A lady always has a handkerchief on her”. Whenever we left home, she made sure I had one on me. A cotton one, for sure. Today I don’t want to think of how we got through our childhood colds on cotton handkerchiefs only. It makes me shudder. Thank goodness, tissue ones became available more and more widely to take along to school and other places. But as an accessory I still also carried cloth ones along. They came in handy instead of a wash cloth when you needed to rub a spill out of something or to clean a minor wound. At one time, I remember, one of my dad’s real big handkerchiefs served as a “tote” for mushrooms we found during an outing.
When I was very little, my dad wore a handkerchief carefully folded in the breast pocket of his best suit on special occasions. And I remember embroidering a white cotton handkerchief with a clef as a gift for a music teacher of mine for exactly that purpose as well.
In my teen years I found myself with a load of cotton handkerchiefs, checkered, transparent, laced, printed. I loved looking at them but didn’t use them anymore. In the end I discarded all of them and gave the laced ones to my mother, who still had a beautiful collection.
So, what of handkerchiefs? When did they come to us? Well, kerchiefs – from the French “couvrir”, i.e. “cover”, and “chef”, i.e. “head” – we at least know that the term dates back to the Middle Ages. But actually, handkerchiefs were already known in ancient Greece. King Richard II of England, from the Plantagenet family (a French speaking House), is said to have invented the cloth handkerchief. And a handkerchief lost is Desdemona’s downfall in Shakespeare’s play “Othello”. Which shows how common by then such a square of cloth had become, but also that it could be used symbolically.
In the 18th century, women waved their handkerchiefs (men did so with their hats) as a sign of approval. Apparently, in Spain the 12th man uses white handkerchiefs as a sign of either approval or disgust at their soccer team’s performance. I have seen Morris dancers in England wave handkerchiefs, and I know there are other countries that use handkerchiefs in folk dance – I wonder whether there is some special symbolism in that.
In fact, there is an entire handkerchief code of colors for different purposes, too. At US dances with a shortage of women, cowboys, railroad engineers, and miners in the 1800s used to signal they’d dance the male part with a blue bandana hanging from their pant pocket, whereas a red bandana signaled the female part. The 20 century LGBT movement came up with an entire rainbow of colors to signal special preferences.
I was blissfully unaware of any symbolism of handkerchiefs in my childhood and teen years. To me they had to be clean and simply pretty. A white one was sometimes used to wave somebody good-bye, as the white fluttering of cloth is visible from afar way better than the simple wave of a hand.
The last time I had a cloth handkerchief on me was on my wedding day. My mother had handed it to me a couple of days before. It was one that had formerly belonged to me (so quite old already), with blue lace around it. My mother let me only borrow it – I forget what the “new” was in this handkerchief. But it was touching that, though as German as I, she remembered the English wedding tradition. I doubt that my marriage has been most happy because of that handkerchief, of course. But it still makes for a sweet little detail in memories of a very special day.
This is a great article! I remember carrying a cloth handkerchief growing up. My dad always had one on his pocket (white and ones with light colors/check lines). To this day, my husband has a folded white one in his hip pocket. I have borrowed it a time or two ????
Thanks,
Barb T
Thank you so much, Barb! Isn’t it fun to observe what kinds of habits we have and for what reasons?!
My grandparents always had a handkerchief handy. On my wedding day I carried a pretty handkerchief that had belonged to my husband’s grandmother. Over the last 25 years I have tatted a lace edging handkerchief for special brides in my family.
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on handkerchiefs.
Thank you, Alyce! I love the idea of borrowing laced handkerchiefs to brides on their wedding day – specially when they have that tradition behind them as yours does.
In our house, we had the “work” table in what would have been the breakfast nook of the kitchen. It held my fathers work accessories. A cup of pens, a place for change, a box cutter, a box of finger cots or rubber fingers, a Vicks vapor inhaler and a stack of handkerchiefs. Each morning he would load up and each evening he would unload. I am not sure if he ever did not have one on him, 2 if he had a cold.
I remember having a cold and my mother sending me to school with a neatly folded handkerchief in my lunch box. Where of course, it remained. Boys did not need one, we just wore long sleeved shirts during cold season. You just wonder how we actually survived.
My mother of course had fancy ones, usually either monogrammed or with some fancy patters. I still have several of my mothers but they are so fancy I have used them as doilies (I wonder if the younger generation even know what doilies are?).
Oh my, yes, I have done that with laced handkerchiefs, too. Placed them underneath small vases on a table. Thank you for reminding me of this use, Paul, and for sharing your memories!
Susanne,
Fascinating read. I have always carried a large red bandanna handkerchief, not for colds, but for when I am short on cash.
By religiously using my trusty bandana / handkerchief, I have never been busted for a liquor store hold up.
Don’t tell the cops.
Joseph Boyle
Ouch, Joe! You make me giggle. Unfortunately, bandanas are in use for masks these days, too. They count as a kerchief, though, not as a handkerchief 😉
Ahhh…miners of the 1800s with red and blue bandanas…the original blood and crips…
No. I remember my mother always carrying a stash of 3 hankies in her purse for just such occasions as wiping our dirty faces or hands. Of course, she would spit into them first. Yuck! In the Marine Corps, we were issued 3 white handkerchiefs, but I never used them due to my childhood. I still have them. Somewhere tucked away in my sea bag. Still won’t use them. Kleenex is easier for catching sneezes and since I don’t reuse them, I don’t have to worry about those nasty germs staying with me.
Thanks for the history behind the kerchief.
Thank you for the fun memories, JC! Indeed spittle on hankies – disgusting, right?! It was simply done that way. I guess that wet wipes came up only way later. As to Kleenex – I keep thinking it should be thicker, like our German “Tempo”. I use 2-plied TP rather. But I totally agree as to the hygienic matter …
When I was 10 years old (about 1953 or so), some where along the line I acquired a whole quarter (all of 25 Cents!) just for me to spend any way I wanted. I went to the General Store located on Capital Way in Olympia at the turn off to the brewery. I was able to buy a small set of glass windchimes as a gift for my Grandmother for 15 cents and TWO lace edged hankerchiefs for 5 cents (.05) as gifts for two aunts. That left me with 5 cents for enough candy I was sick all night from so much sugar. Many years later, I found one of the hankerchiefs in the things left behind when one of the aunts passed away some 40 years later and I still have it treasured in my little box of good memories.
Wow, what prices back then and what a sweet soul you must be to think of others first! I love about your story that you came by one of the handkerchiefs after all these years. What a treasure of memories.