The Suburban Times

A community bulletin board for Western Pierce County.

  • Home
  • To Know
  • To Do
  • To Ponder
  • Obituaries
  • Calendar
    • Submit an Event
  • Subscribe
  • Advertise
  • More
    • Share your story
    • Submit an Event
    • Contact

Westside Story – Boyle Forced Out Of Lakewood City Council Race

February 26, 2019 By Joe Boyle

Today’s news brings sad news.

A loyal 50-year resident of the City of Lakewood, Joe Boyle, who had been recruited by a popular landslide proportion of Lakewood’s citizenry to run for the upcoming seat being vacated by the Honorable and dedicated Lakewood City Councilwoman, Marie Barth, has announced this afternoon he is dropping out of the race.

Joe’s announcement created an immense public hue and cry of “Why, Joe? Why?”

An allegation surfaced that 60 years ago Joe, a freshman in high school, painted himself up with brown shoe polish for a brown-face Mr. Potato Head contest stunt.

It does not seem to matter that the brown-face stunt happened all the way back in 1959 which was in the previous century. Joe, who was only 16 at the time, caught no slack even though he won first prize capturing a free 100-pound gunny sack full of potatoes. Oops, I hope my use of the two words, gunny and sack do not get me in as much trouble like the last time I used them.

Approaching 70 years ago in 1950, a young kid named Drew started first grade with Joe. While Joe did not know it, Drew has been gunning for Joe for decades. Drew finally spotted an opportunity to knock Joe down a peg and seized his chance.

Drew, who Joe had always considered to be a pal, sent the press a page from their high school yearbook showing Joe in brown-face with a cryptic note, “Joe’s political career is over. Bummer”

High school yearbook photo, allegedly showing Joe Boyle in brown-face.

At first, Joe, using a typical politician move, categorically denied that the brown-face character was even him. Have you ever noticed that politicians never simply deny troublesome accusations? They always categorically deny charges and then bark something like, “A full investigation will prove me innocent of all trumped-up charges.” Our president denies trumped-up Trump charges every day.

When it was pointed out to Joe that the photo showed his shifty, beady eyes under his standard stylish hat, Joe, in a real political fashion for someone in the hot-seat, told the press, “That can’t be me. I never attended high school.

At first, Joe gave a lot of push back with strong statements telling his future constituents he was innocent and would not be bullied and forced out of the race by unconfirmed false allegations which he categorized as fake news.

Readers have to ask themselves; Is Joe guilty of brown-face or is this just another case of a spoiler trying to ruin a pillar in our community with mudslinging?

Apparently pressure mounted within the two-party system. Members from both parties on each side of the aisle urged Joe to drop out of the race to avoid the controversy which predictably would follow. When I reference the two-party system, I am not talking about Democrats and Republicans. I am talking about the Birthday Party and the Retirement Party where Manhattans were served in abundance to clear the politician’s heads as a part of their normal decision-making process.

Three protestors blocking pedestrian sidewalk traffic outside The Suburban Times headquarters chanted, “Hey Joe, you got to go!” and “Don’t be a dope and split the vote.”

Late this afternoon, Joe, during a press conference held at The Suburban Times Headquarters #1***, announced, “In the best interest of my family and our community I am withdrawing from what has erroneously become a controversial candidacy for Lakewood City Council.

Simultaneously, Joe announced plans to use his newly found free time to compete in the 2020 Mr. Potato Head Contest – Senior Division.

***(Reader’s Note: While The City of Lakewood hosts The Suburban Times headquarters Office #1 on the West Coast, Publisher Ben Sclair has no announced plans to open a Suburban Times Headquarters Office #2 on the East Coast in Long Island City, New York.

Mr. Sclair has labeled reports of meetings between him, Andrew Cuomo, Governor of New York, and Mayor de Blasio to be pure fantasy.

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Related

About Joe Boyle

Joe’s life is divided into 3 chapters. Chapter I: 25+ years in business including Estate Planning with New York Life, Revenue Officer with the U.S. Treasury Department, Sales Representative and gas main Extension King with Washington Natural Gas Company, Real Estate Broker, investor, developer, and property manager. Chapter II: 25 years in public service as a Pierce County Deputy Sheriff between the ages of 45 and 70. Chapter III: Began with an April Fool’s Day 2013 retirement and involves The Arts including Writing, Comedy, and the Blues. Currently Joe is a creator on Westside Story, The Benny's & Joey’s Quiz with Publisher Ben Sclair and Double Take with author / columnist Susanne Bacon. Joe has performed as an actor locally and done stand-up comedy in Seattle, Tacoma, New Jersey, and Las Vegas.

Comments

  1. P Rose says

    February 27, 2019 at 10:10 am

    ROTFL and cleared my sinuses. Thank you

    • Joseph Boyle says

      February 27, 2019 at 11:34 am

      Thanks for ROTFL – Rolling The Floor Laughing.

      Joseph Boyle

      • Joseph Boyle says

        February 27, 2019 at 11:37 am

        Rolling On The Floor Laughimg. I broke the code.

  2. Jerry Dunlap says

    February 27, 2019 at 12:30 pm

    Fortunately, I was able to cancel the order for 1,000 “Let Joe Make Lakewood Great Again” baseball caps.

    Jerry Dunlap

  3. Carolyn Gordon says

    February 28, 2019 at 8:01 am

    3 whole protestors? You’re famous.

    • Joseph Boyle says

      February 28, 2019 at 8:12 am

      Ms. Carolyn Gordon,

      I am happy to see you caught my effort for at at least a minimal level of levity. Thanks for your comment.

      Joseph Boyle

  4. jc says

    March 1, 2019 at 10:19 am

    I’d still vote for you Joe. Better than voting for the council flunkies that do what the public works dept tells them to and poison the pond.

Top Stories

  • COVID in Lakewood
    COVID in Lakewood
  • Fusion Bistro Asian Restaurant will open where Grassi’s operated in University Place
    Fusion Bistro Asian Restaurant will open where Grassi’s operated in University Place
  • Pierce County Economic Development wants your feedback
    Pierce County Economic Development wants your feedback
  • Obituary Notices - February 23, 2021
    Obituary Notices - February 23, 2021
  • A Search for Office Chairs
    A Search for Office Chairs

Become a better informed citizen.

Join over 30,000 readers each month and get real-local news and information direct to your inbox, Monday-Saturday.


Recent Comments

  • Ben Sclair on 103 new Pierce County COVID-19 cases, 5 new deaths confirmed Feb. 22
  • KM Hills on Letter: Not Going Down
  • Don Doman on A Search for Office Chairs
  • Jaynie Dillon Jones on A Search for Office Chairs
  • Don Doman on The Long Song – Slavery and Beyond – PBS Series Review

Contact Us

The Suburban Times
P.O. Box 39099
Lakewood, WA 98496

Ben Sclair, Publisher
253-312-1804

Stephen Neufeld, Marketing Executive
stephen@thesubtimes.com

Copyright © 2021 The Suburban Times • Log in • Privacy Policy

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.