Westside Story – Coffee Cup Law

Every day I read about gun haters blaming guns for shootings in the streets, music venues, churches, and schools. Based on this narrow and defective thinking gun haters continually repeat the phrase, “There ought to be a law.” Most, if not all, suggested GUN CONTROL laws are designed to erode an American’s Second Amendment Rights thereby impacting on an honest citizen’s ability to protect themselves from evildoers including the very mass shooters gun haters use to undermine the Second Amendment.

I am willing to admit it is possible the gun haters are right, and I am wrong. By the way, I am not a gun hater or gun lover. For me, a gun is just an inanimate object like a tool; like an ice pick, a chainsaw, a baseball bat, a knife or a vehicle. These items are often used for good or evil.

If I am wrong and the gun haters are right, then it stands to reason, “There ought to be a COFFEE CUP CONTROL law.”

I say this because if the laws promoted by gun haters make sense, then laws supported by coffee cup haters make sense too.

The gun haters never bring it up, so many citizens have not heard of homicides committed with coffee cups.

We recently had a coffee cup homicide right here in the City of Lakewood at one of the State of Washington’s / Department of Social and Health Services’ (DSHS) Homicide Houses. My definition of a Homicide House is where officials with the State of Washington, DSHS, and the owner / manager of an adult family home conspire to violate common sense by putting a known dangerous felon in an adult family home and then sit back to see how many days it takes before tragedy strikes. DSHS tends to locate Homicide Houses in formerly quiet, safe, neighborhoods that use to be ideal for families, kids, and retired people. Felons in adult family homes show what can happen when decisions are made based on greed and a lack of common sense. These decision makers must be the kind of people who would use a match to check on how much gasoline is in a gas can.

It is a no-brainer. If you mix the evil-doers, mental defectives, and dopers with ordinary, law-abiding, and honest citizens, the ordinary citizens will suffer from criminal activity such as theft, physical assault, sexual assault, and homicide. It is only a matter of time. It is predictable.

There was another coffee cup killing in California. A US Tennis Open Judge was arrested for the Coffee Cup murder of her husband. Authorities dropped the case because investigators dropped the ball after the suspect dropped the coffee cup leaving shards of a coffee cup in the victim’s head.

If gun haters make sense, then we need the coffee cup haters to unite and get behind promoting some new coffee cup control laws. If we blame guns, we need to blame coffee cups too.

 

Coffee cup murder weapon. Notice handle on coffee mug making this an assault coffee cup.

 

Borrowing from the gun haters and gun lovers, here are some problem solving ideas that make as much sense for coffee cups as they do for guns.

Gun: If a firearm fires and reloads every time you pull the trigger, it is an assault rifle.
Cup: If a coffee mug has a handle thereby equipping the weapon for multiple physical strikes, it is an assault coffee cup.

Gun: Citizens between 18 – 21 shall not be allowed to possess or purchase an assault rifle.
Cup: Citizens between 18 – 21 shall not be allowed to possess or purchase an assault coffee cup.

Gun: Mandatory background checks for anyone wishing to buy a gun.
Cup: Mandatory background checks for anyone wishing to buy a cup.

Gun: A ten-day waiting period should be mandated for anyone wanting to buy a gun.
Cup: A ten-day waiting period should be mandated for anyone wanting to buy a cup.

Gun: Make gun owners register their guns.
Cup: Make coffee cup owners register their cups.

Gun: Mandatory storage rules will make ordinary citizens felons too, should a real felon break into a home and steal a gun that was not secured in a gun safe.
Cup: Mandatory storage rules will make ordinary citizens felons too, should a real felon break into a home and steal a cup off the kitchen counter that was not secured in the kitchen cupboard.

With the passage of the coffee cup law a new industry will be born designing and manufacturing coffee cup safes, and coffee cup handle locks (like a gun trigger lock). Cup safes can be bolted to the kitchen counter.

Gun: Certain ammunition shall be made unlawful.
Cup: Caffeine coffee shall be made unlawful.

Gun: Concealed carry of a firearm requires a Concealed Pistol License based on a background check.
Cup: Concealed carry of a coffee cup requires a Concealed Cup License based on a background check.

Gun: Open carry of a firearm should be a misdemeanor crime.
Cup: Open carry of a coffee cup should be a misdemeanor crime.

Gun: To protect children mandate that all school teachers possess a gun.
Cup: To protect children mandate that all school teachers possess a coffee cup.

If we paraphrase from the gun hater political literature jamming my mailbox, a coffee cup law is a life-saving measure which can prevent death, injury, and other tragedies.

Watch for my future article which makes a case for expanding the mandatory motorcycle helmet law to all occupants of cars and trucks.

If you like the way I think, consider using the name, Joseph Boyle, as a write-in candidate for our next Washington State gubernatorial election to be held on November 3, 2020. After all, the year 2020 is an excellent year to achieve a perfect vision; Joseph Boyle for governor.