Westside Story – The Lakewood Triangle

Most readers are familiar with the Bermuda Triangle also known as the Devil’s Triangle.

Bermuda Triangle.

History indicates a significantly high number of airplanes, boats, and ships passing through the Bermuda Triangle have mysteriously disappeared. No one knows how or why. Some have suggested the disappearances are related to a paranormal phenomenon.

The Bermuda Triangle is not what I want to focus on today. I want to write about the little known, soon to potentially become the world famous, Lakewood Triangle.

Not many have heard of the Lakewood Triangle. The Lakewood Triangle is a place in the heart of The City of Lakewood, Washington where a strange phenomenon has been occurring. No one knows how or why.

If you live or pass through the area known as the Lakewood Triangle you will not only find yourself in a risky neighborhood; you will have entered a wristy neighborhood.

What do I mean by wristy neighborhood? There are three houses located in an area off Gravelly Lake Drive SW and Nyanza Drive SW that form the Lakewood Triangle.

This triangle has been the location of a paranormal occurrence, and no one knows how or why.

Each home forming the triangle contains the minimum of one adult who is at least 70 years old or older. At least one of each home’s occupants has suffered a broken wrist. That is how I came up with the brand new descriptive word you will not yet find in your dictionary, wristy neighborhood. Three houses and three broken wrists.

One neighbor fell and broke her wrist while walking.

A second neighbor broke her wrist falling off a bicycle.

As you probably remember, I recently broke my wrist by flying over the handlebars of my BMW motorcycle at 70 miles per hour.

Because of my extensive science background (high-school biology and physics along with college geology), I was able to discover and confirm the existence of the Lakewood Triangle pattern. I have not yet scientifically uncovered why those living or passing through the Lakewood Triangle suffer broken wrists resulting in wrist repairs that include the installation of titanium metal plates held together with up to 18 screws.

It should not surprise my readers to learn that a man of my intellectual capability and scientific background is able to produce a Top Ten List outlining a number of rock solid scientific theories; any one of which, if proven, might well explain the Lakewood Triangle.

1. Chemicals added to Lakewood Water District’s shower water could be the cause of all the broken wrists in the Lakewood Triangle.
2. Foreign materials in Clover Creek as it flows by the Lakewood Triangle may be causing broken wrists.
3. Clouds of second-hand Vape chemicals blown in from outside the Lakewood Triangle could be the cause of the broken wrists.
4. The din, which produces a nearly constant white noise radiating from the far off I-5 Freeway may be the broken wrist generator.
5. Sound waves flowing from military jets at McChord Air Force Base (JBLM) could be causing the broken wrists.
6. We can’t leave out Global Warming as a possible cause since the public blames everything else on global warming.
7. We have not eliminated the possibility that President Trump’s incessant tweeting, which may cause a molecular change in bone density, may be the trigger event for broken wrists.
8. The new social pressure of political correctness may be generating broken wrists.
9. After reading one of my more controversial articles, should you find yourself inside the Lakewood Triangle, you might suffer a broken wrist from punching me in the face.
10. At 79 mph, speeding trains blasting through Lakewood at citizen killing speeds may alter wind patterns which might well lead to broken wrists in the Lakewood Triangle.

As you have already grown to appreciate, the writing and publishing staff at The Suburban Times is always looking out for our readers’ safety. Stay away from the wristy – risky Lakewood Triangle, or you too could end up with a broken wrist.