When I was a kid, we were so poor we could not afford a dog. Instead, our family pet was a chicken.
The chicken, who I called Feathers, helped me with my 5th-grade science fair project. The premise of my science experiment was to ascertain if I could teach my chicken martial arts. Actually, as I just finished telling you, I was a 5th grader, so realistically, the word ascertain could not have been in my 72-word vocabulary.
Allow me to restate my target disclosure sentence. The premise of my science experiment was to find out if I could teach my chicken martial arts.
By hanging out at the dojo every day and through diligent study of judo, I had worked myself all the way up to a 1st degree white belt.
I am happy to report that I earned an “A” and took the first place ribbon in the science fair for my grade level. That is the good news. The bad news is the chicken, who had earned a black belt in judo, put me in the hospital for 3 days.
Don’t take my word for it. Here is some old 8mm film I converted to video. The film was taken during a chicken judo training session.
You may get a good 
out of the film, but I do not think it is that funny.
So, I got the last laugh.
Funny! :>)
How sad that you would take another culture’s philosophy and debase it in such a manner. You were old enough to know better at that age, so that’s not a valid excuse. Your parents set the example.
Nice, Joe, you crack me up. The best part is people who take this seriously and get offended.
Joe:
You brighten my day! It’s so nice to be able to start the day with one of your stories. Keep them coming. And watch out for those chickens.
Disclosure – Animal Rights Group. No chickens or horses were injured in preparation for this article.
Disclosure Child Protective Services. Little Joey was injured when he slipped in a steaming pile of horse manure as he rounded the barn resulting in a fall that broke his left clavicle. As he lie in the horse manure wriggling in pain, he took quite a pecking from the chicken.
Observing this scene from his corral is what made the horse laugh so hard.
Joseph Boyle
Funny. You might say you got your come comeuppance. Feathers got the best in that skirmish.
This is why chickens need MA:
http://komonews.com/news/offbeat/oregon-man-accused-of-sexually-assaulting-a-chicken
Joe, that’s a great story, and I don’t doubt that most of it actually happened to you, but somehow, I doubt the veracity of the accompanying video. 1) Back when you had a full head of hair, it was dark brown, not blond; 2) that RV looks way too contemporary to have been in a 1954-ish movie; and 3) Those sneakers certainly aren’t as colorful as what today’s kids are wearing, but they do look a little fancier than the plain brown or black shoes kids wore “in the olden days” of our youth.
Are you duping us into accepting alternative facts about your escapades?
Your story reminds me of one my dad used to tell. He grew up in Tacoma, over in the Fern Hill neighborhood, and his family raised chickens. Occasionally (perhaps once was enough), he was tasked with manning the hatchet to decapitate a chicken for that night’s dinner. He learned something about the chicken’s nervous system, as the headless chicken continued to run around the yard for a bit.
I hope nobody is reading this during lunch or dinner. It’s an example of the potential hazards of allowing electronic devices to be brought to the dinner table.
In case you haven’t heard about Mike, the Headless Chicken (true story), the Scientific American writeup is here: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/running-ponies/meet-miracle-mike-the-chicken-who-lived-for-18-months-without-his-head/
Good one, Joe!