Westside Story – "Here Comes The Judge"

“Here Comes The Judge” is a famous line from a popular old TV show known as Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In that ran from about 1968 to 1973.

Judge Joseph Boyle

Most people who watch the news know that President Trump just won a difficult political fight resulting in Senate confirmation of Judge Neil Gorsuch as the 113th Supreme Court justice for the United States.

Judge Neil Gorsuch emphasizes to Senators that if they are not careful, Judge Boyle from the “other Washington” will likely become the next Supreme Court justice.

All major news sources reported on the obvious elements of this story. The obvious is always easy. That is what sets The Suburban Times apart from your other news sources. The Suburban Times digs in for the not so obvious behind the scenes elements of a leading news story.

Judge Joseph Boyle’s behind the scenes story is just one example of the crack reporting you have grown to expect from The Suburban Times.

In an early morning Tweet President Trump stated that if the nuclear option did not bring home the bacon, he would torpedo the process by nominating Lakewood’s Joe Boyle as Supreme Court Justice.

Actually, it was not a Tweet. President Trump used an INSIDER-TWIT to share his strategy. An INSIDER-TWIT is like a TWEET, but the cutting edge INSIDER-TWIT is a communication from one clown to another clown and is just for insiders otherwise known as TWITS.

Judge Neil Gorsuch, the current nominee, and Judge Boyle are as different as night and daylight savings time.

Judge Boyle studied law in high school, but he cleverly did not bog himself down with a mind altering law degree.

Judge Boyle’s only courtroom experience relates to the time he appealed King County Municipal Court “Hanging Judge” – Manolede’s decision on a $13.00 traffic ticket to King County Superior Court.

Boyle, who represented himself in both courts or Pro se as they say in Latin, won the case on appeal. The Trooper made a command appearance in the Superior Court judge’s chambers following the trial. Boyle never saw the Trooper alive again after watching him disappear into the judge’s chambers.

The case revolved around a fresh WSP academy graduate issuing Boyle a traffic ticket for crossing a painted barrier on the Seattle I-5 Freeway. This landmark and precedent-setting traffic case, known as Boyle Vs. WSP is a focal point of study by law students throughout the land.

While Boyle has no experience as a judge in the courtroom; not even as a pro-tem judge, he has judged a couple of homemade chili cook-offs.

President Trump reasoned if Gorsuch failed the nomination process, Judge Boyle would be a shoe-in because Judge Boyle has no opinions or accomplishments that will offend the Democrats, nor is he on video spewing any locker room talk about the pros and cons of the pink Bic woman’s ink pen.

Trump considered it to be a key advantage that Judge Boyle would bring his own gavel to the job. Boyle’s gavel is a solid wood gavel turned on a wood lathe by Judge Boyle in his 7th-grade wood shop class back in 1957.

With a heavy case load, a sitting Judge must have an excellent memory. Judge Boyle, while describing the production of his custom gavel, demonstrated his phenomenal memory skills by recalling his wood shop teacher’s name from 60 years ago, which was Mr. Wood.

While everyone might agree that in the traditional sense, Judge Boyle would not have been as qualified as Judge Gorsuch, it should be noted that Judge Boyle completed a study of all the historic Judge Roy Bean, The Law West of the Pecos movies. As a side note, it has been rumored that The Mr. Bean is a direct descendent of Judge Roy Bean.

If that is not enough, Judge Boyle never misses Judge Judy on TV.

It is important that a judge on the Supreme Court be older, distinguished and have a booming voice. Judge Boyle has 2 out of 3 of the prerequisites, which Trump figured was close enough.

Lastly, a big part of being a judge is looking like a judge. You have to admit, the photo of Judge Boyle wearing a judicial robe brings that old saying to mind, “Here comes the judge”.

Trump knows not everyone likes lawyers. Judge Boyle is not a lawyer. Perfect.

Well, in the end, Judge Neil Gorsuch prevailed. I guess that means for Judge Boyle, President Trump’s INSIDER-TWITT strategy is now a mute point. Or is that a moot point? Who no’s? I knows Judge Boyle never attended law school.