Westside Story – Where Is My Car Parked?

On January 20, 2017, President Donald Trump was sworn in as our 45th president.

In so many words President Trump spoke of stopping evil on the first day of his presidency. I did not like hearing these unrealistic words because we all know that while Trump can start taking action to stop evil on his first day, it can’t be done in a day.

So here is what I see when we look to Washington DC for help, regardless of who is president.

Actually, day or night, Washington DC feels like a black hole where our money goes for politicians to use to create gridlock. The president promises to stop evil, but it really is a big job and I am here to tell you evil survives.

On January 21, 2017, which was day two of President Trump’s first term in office, some social misfit stole our 1992 Honda Accord EX with 181,000 miles.

The car had been parked in front of World Market near the Tacoma Mall.

Officer W. Johnson, from the Tacoma Police Department, took our stolen report. He was both kind and professional.

Historically most of my car purchases had been used cars.

Oops. Used car is probably not politically correct because the use of the word used makes an old car feel bad. Okay, we normally purchased pre-owned cars.

You know me. I love supporting the politically correct movement. All of the movement, even taken to the extreme, makes so much sense.

On Pearl Harbor Day, 1991, we purchased a new 1992 Honda because there were no pre-owned Hondas available.

Twenty-five years later my wife planned to keep driving the car into her 90s or until Department of Motor Vehicles came knocking to take her driver’s license away.

While the car was missing, I was hoping for a phone call that would go along these lines. “Mr. Boyle, this is the police. We have a NEWS SANDWICH for you.” A news sandwich is two pieces of good news with a piece of bad news sandwiched in between.

Good news. We recovered your stolen car.

Bad news. The car thief hit a power pole causing extensive damage.

Good news. The car thief is still pinned behind the steering wheel.

Feel free to stop by to show him what you think of his anti-social behavior. This might also be a good time to ask him what he did with your wife’s Yoga mat.

The next night, at about 10:00p we received a phone call from the Federal Way Police Department. A kind and professional Federal Way PD Officer D. Johnson took our MVTR – recovery report.

It was interesting to me that both police officers from two departments are not related, but both have the last name, Johnson. I thought it might be a sign of a good omen to come.

The car was found ditched in a residential neighborhood. The crooks parked it “catty waumpus” which drew the attention of Officer Johnson. When he ran the plate, it came back as a confirmed stolen.

Using our key, we attempted to start the car, but it would not start. The crooks had stolen the brand new 7-year battery I had purchased on the previous December 3, 2016. I had purchased the more expensive 7-year battery because we planned to keep the car for another 100,000 miles and because my wife and I are getting up in years. When you are my age, you are a walking time-bomb. I could die any time without notice. I did not want to leave a fresh widow with a 1-year-old stale car battery. While there would be no hope getting any more life out of me, I wanted her to be able to get some more life out of her car battery.

They took my turquoise and white car blanket given to me as a gift in 1959 to be used in my 1948 Ford. They took my wife’s yoga gear that was wrapped up in a carrier she had made the previous month using some antique 1940s wood handles given to us by my mom.

They also stole our garage door opener remote which is like having a key to our house.

The greatest physical damage to the car was the dashboard area where they destroyed the dash and counsel during their process of stealing our aftermarket sound system and backup camera.

When we got our car back, there was an unknown white powdery substance on the black dashboard. It might be glue residue or it might be some form of dope.

I could go on, but let me just say this. If you have never had a car stolen, I hope you do not have the experience. It is nasty. There is the emotional side, the vulnerablity side, the dollar loss and the time loss.

Needless to say, we are car shopping. Looking at it one way, I only buy my wife a new car every 1/4 century. That is still a fairly economical lifestyle.