Though “scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot,” (aka Sasquatch) “and consider it to be a combination of folklore and misidentification rather than a living animal,” still there is at least one (legislator) who believes the hairy hoax should be honored with a bill in its (his, her, whatever) honor.
A Bill for Bigfoot. A Senate hearing for Sasquatch. A conference committee convened for cryptids.
On a par with the mythical cupid, the Associated Press (AP) is reporting on Valentine’s Day of a long-lost unrequited love for a cryptid which Oxford dictionary, per AP, says is “an animal whose existence or survival is disputed or unsubstantiated.”
Mox nix says Republican Sen. Ann Rivers of La Center whose new bill would designate the elusive Sasquatch “as the ‘official cryptid’ of Washington state.”
After all, says Rivers, the never-seen-beast has “made immeasurable contributions to Washington state’s cultural heritage and ecosystem.”
Not to be outdone, across the aisle a whole host of signers-on (13 in fact as opposed to Rivers who so far is evidently the sole supporter of the Bigfoot Bill) have proposed their own ecosystem entry of distinction: the tricholoma magnivelare, more familiar (or not) as the lowly pine mushroom.
Evidently with a straight face, these lawmakers “hereby designate the pine mushroom as the official state fungi of the state of Washington.”
“Hereby.” So, that’s official then.
Though there is no ‘whereas’ terminology in the Original Bill which is odd since ‘whereas’ is normal nomenclature when issues of such magnitude as official mushrooms are being addressed (probably an oversight), for affect we’ll include it here:
‘Whereas’ “the tricholoma magnivelare is notably sought after for its distinct smell and delicious flavor,” write the sponsors, House Bill 1812 (referencing the fungi, not the fight or War of 1812 which was not believed to be a battle over fungi, although there may have been some underfoot) is sure to grow (the bill, not the fungus, although maybe that too) in popularity, 13 lawmakers, as previously noted, already campaigning for the lowly mushroom.
It behooves the seeker of the official state mushroom – or Sasquatch for that matter – before setting out to make a mental note that the tricholoma magnivelare, “sought after for its delicious flavor” should be distinguished from the Lactarius deliciosus which, though also a tasteful variety given its name and also a pine mushroom, is somewhere else on the taxonomy chain.
Given the commonality of taxes (legislators) and mushrooms (taxonomy), should there be a special session because lawmakers couldn’t get done all they needed too, well, blame the mushroom munching Sasquatch who, for all anyone knows, may, like his evolutionary ecosystem proponents higher – a bit – up the taxonomy chain, be lost somewhere in the legislative labyrinth (see flow chart) where important laws, as these highlighted here, are wont to be made.