Letter: Somebody stole the bab(ies)

There’s a story that’s begun on Facebook about Walmart’s missing Jesus. Seems all the nativity sets were minus the infant.

It wasn’t clear in the initial post whether these were inflatable babies along the lines of those blow-ups Santa’s or if the cellophane wrappers had been sliced from which the tiny figure had then been surreptitiously extracted leaving behind the rest of the figurines no doubt wondering how they could celebrate without him.

In any case, it’s now become the case of the missing baby Jesus. And not just one either. A whole assembly line. Gone.

No doubt authorities have been notified and a search is, or will be soon, underway. Surveillance camera video footage will be checked frame-by-frame. Walmart employees interviewed – perhaps it was an inside job; any suspicious looking character loitering about; etc.

No purchaser, nor even a connoisseur, of nativity sets would notice a missing sheep or shepherd. Or even two. As long as the obligatory angel was left behind to hang out over the top of the manager that would be sufficient. A whole bunch of the heavenly host lifted from the scene probably wouldn’t arouse suspicion. No kings, no problem. They didn’t show up until later anyway.

But Jesus? Wasn’t he the whole point? Just kinda not the same somehow.

Maybe he fell behind the bale of hay. Surely by shaking the box he’ll show up.

Then, with a twinkle, I understood. You can’t just add Jesus to the shelf like all the others.

Good for Walmart. You go the missing persons in that humongous store or to the gal at checkout, and describe the individual. The attendant or clerk smiles, picks up the microphone, and makes the great announcement for all to hear:

“Jesus? He’s a free gift.”

“Thanks for shopping Walmart.”