It’s bad enough to be the target of a seagull flock flyover. But if Legislative House Bill 2405 passes, watch out below!
The Agriculture Committee under the dome in Olympia wants to feed to the creatures that fly above, and cows and pigs that – for the moment – graze below: hemp – “a commonly used term for the Cannabis plant and its products,” one of which of course is the drug marijuana.
Turns out the legislature has discovered “that local (and) state-based markets exist in which consumers are willing to pay a premium price for products that result from hemp-fed animals.”
Imagine Cannabis-fed cows and psychoactive pigs in a “heightened mood” getting high – to the top of the barn in fact – where, in an ecstasy of “euphoria” with a moo and an oink respectively, hoofs spread wide and a smile just as broad, they cast themselves to the wind joining turkeys, ducks, geese, pheasants, et al, both earth-bound (normally) and unclipped winged creatures that soar, aka poultry – all to be raised commercially for us humans to kill and eat.
If we can catch them.
“Hemp was banned decades ago when the government classified it as a controlled substance related to marijuana,” but now – the Associated Press is reporting just today – given this new horticultural development, from Washington to Kentucky – 10 states in all – it looks like Old McDonald’s farm is set for a hillbilly hoedown revival with Wilbur the Pig waltzing up and down on the piano, Goose and Gander on electronic guitars and Charlotte on the cello, the strung-out spider herself shredding the silk stings – all ‘hemped’ creatures great and small that have od’d in Denver and wigged-out in Washington.
Meanwhile ‘Lurvy and The Farm Hands’ (no reference to legislators, necessarily) – hoping themselves to make a rockabilly return to the economic fortunes of the lavishness associated with Vegas – are ‘gettin’ down’ to the funky farm tunes of their freaked-out feathered friends.
Including hemp-fed cows and pigs that haven’t flown the coop.