This is great, if I do say so myself. Another fantastic creative idea from Joe Boyle, recently voted top creative inventor in Pierce County by the Off The Wall Inventor’s League.
Send me $105.00 + shipping and handling and I will have one of my new all weather Senior Citizen Parking Only reserved parking signs delivered to your doorstep.
Plop it your backseat or trunk so it is always with you everywhere you go. Once you arrive, pull it out and set it up in less than 75 minutes. Use the sign at shopping malls, Joe Diamond Parking Lots, or public streets. Parking Enforcement Cops have never seen these signs before, so they will simply walk away scratching their heads without having written you a parking ticket.
Individuals displaying the Senior Citizen Parking Only sign must be age 62 or older, possess a current non-suspended driver’s license and be able to provide proof of insurance.
As a special bonus for the first 100 customers ordering the sign, I will toss in one of my HOV Lane disguise kits, a $49.00 value. Simply store the sign in your front passenger seat after dressing your sign with the hat and coat included in your HOV Lane disguise kit.
Hurry, while supplies last.
Made in America, but assembled in China.
Now we know.
If Only. I always enjoy your columns Joe. Keep them coming, the off the wall as well as the “on” the wall.
Joe, why should I pay you more than 4 times the price of the sign if I by it directly online? Do you provide extra services with your deluxe signs? For instance:
If my JGB sign is defaced by misguided youth, will you replace it free of charge? How many times?
If my younger friends were to park under my sign, could I call on you to evict them? Do you still have a badge? Would you end up in jail for impersonating a police officer?
Could you perhaps personalize my sign to note that my fine for youthful parking in my spot is $20 an hour, cash only, with a woman on the face of the bill?
Would you stand behind me when my condo association steals my sign and tells me they won’t give it back unless I promise to keep it in my back yard where nobody can see it?
Depending on your answers, we may be able to strike a deal. Oh – one more question: does it come in hot pink?
Joe, you get extra credit if you can point out my typo. I left it there for you, and you know how difficult that was for me!
Also, you can’t tempt me by offering a life-like dummy to be my passenger in the HOV lane. I’m a bit of an introvert, so enjoy my alone time. Also, I’m easily distracted. What if the dummy turned out to be not so dumb after all, and a “Chatty Cathy,” as well? While trying to respond to her incessant questions, I might end up headed the wrong way on the freeway, ever-so-briefly.
Fini.
by is the word (spotted while on Waikiki Beach, HI)
Oh, Sharli, spoiler! That was meant for Joe to detect. Apparently he’s too busy working on his next creative writing project to check his comments/replies every few minutes. Waikiki Beach? Did you have to tell me that? 🙂 Why are you wasting your time on the computer?
Mary & Sharli, U to R two sharp 4 me. Buy 4 now. Joe